Laaga Chunari Mein Daag

I always rather liked Rani Mukherjee, with her smallish stature and relatively girl-next-door appearance. However I didn't want to ever watch this movie because I find the whole concept of prostitution depressing. Not disgusting, depressing. I always knew that helplessness and the need to provide for oneself and family can be an overpowering one. Lots of people are driven to do things that under normal circumstances would go against the grain. So who wanted to watch a Hindi movie - which is usually prone to overdramatization and extreme moments of uncomfortable melodrama - about a small town girl forced by circumstances to become an escort? Certainly not me.

I caught this movie on television. I watched the kind of Indian mentality which leads a father to tell his daughter not to try and become a son. It is positively criminal. She of course grits her teeth and makes up her mind to become successful at all costs, little knowing that that is the minimum that would be required.

Mumbaikars are painted with a harsh, uncaring and selfish brush. The imagery is true, with most city-dwellers rarely condescending to deal with encroaching mushrooms from the rural areas of the country. There is also the selfish streak that allows people to use others for their own ends and then cast them aside once they are done.

Rani Mukherjee's character discovers all this and much more, before she is forced into making a decision that is irrevocable. Once done, she picks up the tatters of her dignity and makes the game her own. Only a handful of people know what has happened and they all behave with varying degrees of acceptance.

She becomes happier as her family finances improve, and she moves around in the best circles. Her sister comes to town and finds work and love quickly.

The ending of the story could not have been handled better, and although I was prepared to be up in arms with regards to a male chauvinist plot, the ending left a good feeling all around.

Uncle Fred in the Springtime

Ordinarily, I love P. G. Wodehouse books. There are the odd couple of reasons why I can't read through his books in one sitting, but that's mainly a personal shortcoming. It is certainly no reflection on the sumptuousness of his writing style.

I discovered Wodehouse very recently, having been weaned on a diet of Enid Blyton in my youth. I was so delighted with one book I happened to pick up, it has become an ambition to acquire and read all his books. (I tend to be a little compulsive about sets and sequences.)

I finished Uncle Fred in the Springtime yesterday, after the book lay on my nightstand for almost a month. Part of the reason was due to excessive traveling, but sometimes I find Wodehouse plots to be convoluted beyond rational imagining. However, even though I sometimes close the book due to sheer exhaustion, these seemingly impossible tangles seem to resolve themselves quite satisfactorily in the end.

In my opinion though, that didn't happen with Uncle Fred. The tangle does resolve itself, without a doubt, however the satisfaction was definitely absent. The usual smooth ending was completely absent, and in its inimitable stead, there was a fresh tangle of lines. The ending was improbable and flimsy, again in my opinion. Apart from that though, the book is truly Wodehouse with chuckles embedded in every turn of phrase.

I just wish it had ended differently.

Avatar

Few movies have the power of being so absorbing that you find yourself almost in the very landscape. Avatar was definitely one of them. And I watched the 2D version yesterday.

The movie is chockful of technical brilliance, but that isn't what makes it special. That merely ties up an important message in a very pretty packaging. Or so I think.

The movie is about the human race, mining for a valuable mineral on the planet Pandora. The planet is alien and beautiful, therefore there are a team of biologists who try to interact peaceably with the natives, through the use of a hybrid body known as an Avatar. The natives, otherwise known as the Na'avi, are a spiritual race, deeply attuned to the pulse of the forest. Each tree and animal forms a microcosm of an interconnected web of life that sustains all life on Pandora. The Na'avi are able to connect, even thought they are a race roughly equivalent to the human race. (Which we all know is a selfish one.)

The Na'avi village is actually a huge tree which also happens to be sitting atop the largest deposit of the mineral. One of the Avatars attempt to befriend the tribe, hoping to find a way to remove them gently from their place.

The movie proceeds along predictable lines to its conclusion. There are really no surprises.

But. (This is a BIG 'but'.) The movie contains some very powerful messages.

Firstly, those of us who have had the pleasure of being invaded by other people can sympathise with the unfairness of one's rights snatched away from us. Foreigners come in, take by force what is not theirs and persecute the indigenous natives. It has happened throughout history with tragic consequences.

Secondly, the deep connection with nature portrayed in the movie should shine a light on the wanton destruction of our planet. Resources are chewed up and spat out without thought by heartless corporate entities, leaving this once-beautiful green planet a pile of rotting rubble.

And thirdly, when Jake Sully (the infiltrator Avatar) is saved by a woman from the tribe, she has to butcher a number of forest creatures -vaguely modeled on wild dogs. She then mourns the unnecessary violence and death. Throughout the movie, even when hunting, the death of prey is conducted with grace, thanking the being for the nutrition it is about to provide. The act is humane and spiritual, giving the animal the respect it deserves.

As the movie came to a close, I could really think of very little else. As I have grown older, my true disdain for the human race, and the disgust it inspires in me threatens to overwhelm me entirely. Avatar merely reinforced that opinion.

It is a fabulous movie, and even though my father slept through most of it, I think his taste in movies is dubious at best. If not for the messages, go for the story. If not for the story, go for the special effects. It is worth the experience.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Marvel Comics are always so dark and dismal. There is no clear good and bad, all the characters are shades of gray. I enjoyed X-Men and its sequels because the effects were spectacular and the superpowers were awesome.

The storylines had me slightly confused though; mostly because I like the end of the movie to clear up any fogginess that surrounds the characters. I watched all three X-Men movies avidly, hoping that one of them would shed some light on Wolverine.

After all, Wolverine was the central character. And he was played by Hugh Jackman, who I absolutely adore.

So when X-Men Origins: Wolverine came out, I was sorely disappointed about not being able to watch it on the big screen. And I waited patiently for it to come out on DVD.

The story starts even before the credits, with James (the future Logan) a young boy with a high fever. From that point on, everything spirals into the darkness. Sabretooth, played by Liev Schreiber, turns out to be Wolverine's brother. They are virtually indestructible, so they survive through the centuries, even though they actively participate in every war that tears the land apart.

Sabretooth is volatile and vicious, caring for no one except maybe a tiny bit for Wolverine. Due to an insubordination, the brothers are sentenced to death by firing squad. Which of course doesn't work.

During their incarceration, they are approached by a army guy named Stryker. He recruits them because of their strange abilities into an elite task force. Their mission is not revealed.

Wolverine finally tires of bloodshed and leaves the task force, to settle with a girl in the Canadian Rockies. The story follows his descent into revenge and rage after Sabretooth kills her.

Stryker appears out of nowhere and offers him a way to beat Sabretooth: coating his skeleton with adamantium.

Of course, there are double-crosses upon double-crosses and finally the tale gets tangled up in itself. The story isn't ground-breaking, but Hugh Jackman is fabulous. The special effects are pretty good, but they are no where in the league of the X-Men movies.

There is no suspense here, thankfully, and the movie ends by explaining how Wolverine loses his memory.

Seven Pounds

Will Smith is sometimes enough advertisement for any movie. That holds true for some percentage of the movie-going population, including me.

I hadn't heard about Seven Pounds before I watched it, and we decided to go only because the poster had a Will Smith picture with the movie title across the bottom.

I don't think it is feasible to describe the plot of the movie without giving away a lot of the story.

The movie is profoundly sad, and explores the deep-seated guilt that a good person feels when he has wronged innocent people, however inadvertently. Will Smith goes to great lengths to attempt to even out the wrongs he has committed.

I think the seven pounds borrows from The Merchant of Venice when Shylock demands his 'pound of flesh'. Here, Will has wronged seven people.

The movie is profound and depressing. There is very little happiness, but at the end you feel respect for a man who gives up so much just to ease his conscience.

Definitely worth a watch.

The Water Horse

Like many, many people all over the world, I am totally fascinated by the Loch Ness creature. I say 'creature' because my definition of a 'monster' is Hitler.

The Loch Ness creature is stuff of fables and legends, and even today people have sightings of the majestic being.

The Water Horse is a delightful movie, set in the time of war. I usually hate those movies because I hate the thought of war and what it does to humankind. Soldiers perish on the front, and families suffer away at home. There is nothing gained from war.

The movie is about a young boy who lives in a big house. His mother works as a housekeeper for the lord of the manor, and he is a lonely little child with an all-abiding fear of open water. One fine day, while playing with sea shells and ocean debris, he finds an unusual egg. He picks it up and takes it home, where he hides it in his father's workshop.

A few days later, a small gray creature breaks its way out of the egg and blinks up at him. It is the fabled Loch Ness creature. He names it Crusoe, after Robinson Crusoe, and proceeds to bring him up in secret. Of course, before long Crusoe becomes too large to fit in a tub, and has to be set free in the loch.

The story follows the adventures of the small boy and Crusoe through war times. The movie has beautiful moments as the bond develops between the two.

However, I felt tremendously sad, as the legend says that every water horse is born an orphan. There can be only one water horse in the world at any time.

I turned off the movie, hoping very much that it wasn't true.

The Incredible Hulk

My first Edward Norton movie was Primal Fear. I had that movie on LD, and the last scene when Richard Gere is leaving the holding cell has remained with me till today. I thought Edward Norton was one of the most sinister characters I'd ever laid eyes on.

Of course I was very young at the time, plus I associated all actors with the roles they played. So I was dead wrong of course. Now the sinister aspect I had imbued Norton with has been replaced with a profound respect for the angular-featured actor.

I watched The Incredible Hulk more than a year ago, so there is very little I remember of the movie except for Edward Norton. He plays the troubled, mild-mannered Bruce Banner so well it left an impression. He struggled for control over a volatile temper, with far more serious ramifications that any normal temper.

I thought the movie was well-made, without crazy action sequences that I more often than not find difficult to follow. I respect advancement in technology, but sometimes it is just plain hard to understand what is going on. I imagine this is why armies in the old days wore colours - instant identification.

I enjoyed the movie, and probably will get it on DVD, although it doesn't top the list.

What's Your Rashee?

I didn't really want to go for this movie, but we generally wanted to watch something so we went anyway. BIG mistake.

The Patel family in Mumbai is in a bit of a financial soup, thanks to the swindling tendencies of the eldest son. They need a large sum of money super-fast. Through the aegis of an astrologer they find out that their younger son is going to receive a large sum of money on his wedding day. However, the caveat is that the time for his marriage is a little closer than expected - the 20th of month. (They neglect to tell us what day it is currently.) Also, this piece of good fortune is somewhat confirmed when the maternal grandfather calls to say he is bequeathing all his wealth to the same grandson on his wedding day.

Yogesh Patel, MBA and NRI and many other acronyms besides, is unaware of his impending nuptials. Lured to back to India on the pretext of his father's ill health, they spring the whole mess on him. of course he is taken aback and not ready to wed.

During his first night there, he is unable to sleep because of the time difference. He picks up a book called 'What's Your Rashee?' and discovers there are 12 types of girls, one per astrological sign.

After agreeing to go along with the crazy scheme, his father takes him to a relative. The relative often doubles up as a marriage broker. He has <insert number here (oh wait, I don't care)> girls lined up. Yogesh, utilizing his new knowledge, wants to meet only 12 girls - one of each astrological sign.

This merry-go-round carries on for the rest of the movie. There are two sub-plots: the relative has a suspicious wife who signs on his father to play detective. She suspects there is a mistress in the wings. The second sub-plot is a little more sinister; his brother has been intelligent enough to borrow money from an underworld kingpin.

The twist in the tale is that Yogesh meets 12 girls, apparently identical to each other. And this little nugget is visible only to him. His grandfather explains that he is seeing the girl he wants to marry in every girl he encounters.

After 4 hours of piteous misery, the rigmarole resolves itself and Yogesh marries the girl with whom he has fallen in love.

Great.

Can I have my money back?

Harman Baweja should consider giving up acting whilst he is still young and capable of building a career in another field. Perhaps freelance as a sack of potatoes. Enough said.

Priyanka Chopra is irritating to the extreme as multiple Gujrati girls. There is a serious overdose here, although she does manage to pull of some of the characters with great panache.

The movie was silly from start to finish. Avoid at all costs.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Possibly no secret to anyone I know, I don't really like Shah Rukh Khan. But I do go for some of his movies nonetheless because sometimes they are quite nice.

I didn't really like this movie very much. Possibly because, for me, Bollywood flicks are meant to be fun and frolicsome. No tragi-comic stories with lame ducks and broken hearts.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is the story of a young man from Punjab. Not a startling man by any means, but one that gets by with a respectable job in a reputable organization and with minimum of fuss. He is a confirmed bachelor simply because he is much too shy to meet girls, let alone converse with them. He has next to no social life.

One fine day, he attends a wedding in his old teacher's home. The teacher's daughter is marrying the man she fell in love with, and as SRK sees her dancing in glee with her friends, he marvels at her lighthearted happiness.

Just then a messenger comes to say that her groom-to-be has met with an accident on the way to the wedding and has passed away. She runs to her room in despair, while her father suffers a heart attack with the shock.

The upshot of all this drama is that her father is critically ill, and unlikely to survive for very long. As she has no one else, he asks her to marry SRK's character. They both accept reluctantly, knowing full well that it is a marriage of convenience. Her father passes away in peace and they wed.

The adjustment period is difficult on both individuals - one crushed by tragedy and the other in love with his new wife who has no feelings except gratitude for him. A status quo is finally established with a few mild-mannered hiccups along the way.

A travelling dance program comes into town and the girl shows her first bout of enthusiasm then. She enrolls herself. Her husband also enrolls, after due consideration and a serious make-over, hoping to get closer to his wife as an entirely new person.

They become friends, and he finally tells her he loves her. At first she is horrified, seeing as she is a married woman. By and by, she realizes that this man makes her laugh, something she never thought she could do again.

And then of course, the whole story proceeds into an unholy tangled mess. As the characters get deeper and deeper into their respective messes, SRK becomes more and more miserable.

Finally there seems to be no clean, happy solution which presents itself. (At least it wasn't evident to me.)

Of course there was a resolution. And it was sappy and unnecessarily dramatic.

I did not like the movie, although I loved some of the songs.

Dil Bole Hadippa!

Less than hour after watching the movie at the theatre, and I'm already at my laptop banging out a review. Why? Because I have a few strong (bordering on vicious) opinions about this movie, and I was absolutely dying to voice them.

Firstly, the movie was lovely. A little overtly Punjabi, but then again there is no Yash Raj movie that isn't. Newsflash people: the beating-on-chest and deep-voiced 'I'm from the Punjab' is OLD. Get over already. India has some OTHER beautiful cultures too. Yeesh.

Secondly, I thought Rani Mukherjee was a doll. So utterly cute. And Shahid was a good foil. Again, newsflash people: the movie was about HER. Not him. So her name should've come first in the credits. Ugh our male chauvinist pig society. (This will come up a few more times in this review.)

Thirdly, why oh why did they muck up the ending? A nice light-hearted comedy and they made it all emotional and sappy towards the end.

- I would have had a much better opinion of Shahid's Y-chromosome if he hadn't gotten his panties into a bunch when he found out his opening batsmen was a girl. The same girl he was falling for. Geez man, LIGHTEN UP. I would've cheered like a sailor if he'd just laughed and said that he was just piqued that she didn't let him in on the secret. But NOOO, he has to get all weepy and clench-fisted, hurt and wounded, angry and irritable.

Yawn.

- When Rani Mukherjee is unveiled as a girl, and everyone boos, why does she get all emotional? Where is her Punjabi grit and spunk? Skin-deep me thinks. Her dialogue on the mike should have been along these lines:

"Dear ladies and pansies, you are only upset because a girl beat all you so-called men. You testicle-less morons have no business to sit there and judge me. I've proved myself better than all of you, so hell I sit here in judgment of your sorry behinds. And Ali Ansari? Next time you trip me, I WILL mistake your genitalia for cricket balls. That is all. Now go F*** yourselves."

Ah, that felt better.