Unsolicited Opinions by An Unjugdmental Critic

Housefull

2010-05-07T02:00:00.003+05:30

There were mixed reviews for this movie – laugh-out funny and cringe-fest (my newly coined, by the way). I honestly had no idea which one was more accurate. Turns out, both were spot on.

The movie has a storyline, somewhere deeply buried in slapstick and pseudo-dramatism. It swings bewilderingly from point to point, where the jokes are freely interspersed with tearful monologues. Some of the scenes were so awful that I couldn’t bear to keep my eyes open; but there were some scenes that made me laugh my guts out. However, I’ve watched the movie once – and once is MORE than enough.

Akshay Kumar is the main lead in this crazy movie. He plays a karma-impaired individual with no luck. The epitome of anti-Midas, everything he so much as looks at turns to dust. He is spurned by women he loves, over and over. Dejected with the miserable shreds of his romantic life, he decides to visit an old friend.

This old friend, Riteish Deshmukh, is a casino dealer in London. Happily married to Lara Dutta, they come home one evening, fully intending to amorously demonstrate their love. Only to find Akshay Kumar snoozing comfortably in their bed. Suffice it to say, utter pandemonium ensues.

After the plate-crashing, parrot-vacuuming, and electric-shocking is over, there is a tearful reconciliation and hugs are exchanged. Very touching. (Barf)

All this lovey-dovey family-ness leads to Akshay’s marriage. Then to his honeymoon. Then to his new wife taking off with another bloke. He tried to commit suicide. Deepika saving him. Them falling in love (a couple of songs). Riteish and Lara showing up. You get the point.

In all of this, Lara has an estranged father, Boman Irani. And Deepika has a militant elder brother, Arjun Rampal – who incidentally is also the brother of the girl who turns him down at the beginning of the movie.

Of course, this entire motley crew converges on the two hapless couple ALL AT ONCE. Utter surprise! What! How original! Wow! Misunderstandings in a comedy movie?!? NEW concept.

The movie becomes too complicated to explain after this point. But thankfully it becomes funny too. The first half is awful, but the second half has a few great (if slightly obvious) laughs. Watch out for the English ‘queen’. Absolute. Riot.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

2010-01-20T16:04:00.001+05:30

I loved this movie. The actors, the acting, the storyline, the simplicity, the possibility that it could potentially happen - everything. I loved the less-than-perfect characters, the teenage drama, the music theme as a backdrop and the fledgling signs of romance.

Nick is hopelessly in love with an ex at another school. He makes and sends her mixed tapes of music, which she then passes on to her friend. The friend in question, Norah, loves the music. Through some twist of fate, Nick and Norah find themselves together on the town for one night. As time unfolds, various incidents happen leading into comical situations and pseudo-dramatic moments. They fight, they argue and eventually realize they are attracted to each other. That part was predictable, but still nice.

The movie was great fun, and it a complete chick-flick. Love.

Law Abiding Citizen

2010-01-20T15:28:00.003+05:30

I was waiting for this film to release for ages. Lots of reasons really: Gerard Butler, Jamie Foxx and a vengeance story, being just the top three. No need for explanations for the first two, but the third I think needs a little one.

I adore vengeance stories of vigilante justice. It is all about victims taking control. I live in a country where the victims suffer so much because of selfish and egotistic villains. Just today my family was talking about police atrocities. The stories are sickening. It's about time people stood up to fight for their civil rights.

So when Gerard Butler starts by dismembering the criminal who killed his wife and child, raped his wife's dead body and got off virtually scot-free, I was THRILLED. I was a one-person cheering squad.

But then he started targeting innocent people. That's when the movie went completely downhill for me. He turned from a victim into exactly the sort person he wants to get rid of.

The ending had a powerful message: one is responsible for the consequences of their actions. Those consequences don't always pan out as one thinks. It can backfire dramatically. It is all about the choices.

Inglourious Basterds

2010-01-20T14:31:00.002+05:30

I have never really been a fan of Quentin Tarantino. There I said it. I do not belong to the elite club of discerning movie-goers. I am not into blood, gore or 'realistic' cinema. I like light-hearted, fun flicks which remain within the realms of reality - stuff that potentially CAN happen - or out-and-out fantasy flicks. In sum, I like it when the good guys win.

Inglourious Basterds is about Hitler and the Nazi regime. Nothing sparkly and happy about it. It is about a rag-tag group of American Jews that exact bloody revenge on Hitler's nasty minions.

I turned on the movie, thinking I would watch it in instalments. But I was utterly hooked. Perhaps morbid fascination, maybe cinematic excellence kept me glued to the seat waiting for the next scene to unfold. I was horrified by some of the scenes, with their overt displays of gore, but yet I watched.

The movie itself is beautifully laid out, thankfully eschewing the usual non-linear format of previous Tarantino movies. The plots were simply followed and there were no great mental gyrations required to follow the thread.

To some extent I felt vicarious pleasure in imagining the dire deaths of the perpetrators of the Holocaust. But there was one scene, heralding the entrance of the Bear Jew, where a German soldier is kneeling waiting for his certain fate. The Basterd taps the soldier's lapel with his club, asking whether the medal hanging from there is for killing many Jews. The soldier responds with one word, "Bravery". He then died a horrible death. In that moment, I realized that although I always envisaged gruesome deaths for people like that, maybe in the thrall of sinners there may have been one person who didn't deserve that fate. It was merely a question of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Having watched it though, the movie didn't make a deep impression. By the next morning it was forgotten, without any regrets. It was worth the watch though; if one has a strong stomach.

Laaga Chunari Mein Daag

2010-01-02T13:07:00.006+05:30

I always rather liked Rani Mukherjee, with her smallish stature and relatively girl-next-door appearance. However I didn't want to ever watch this movie because I find the whole concept of prostitution depressing. Not disgusting, depressing. I always knew that helplessness and the need to provide for oneself and family can be an overpowering one. Lots of people are driven to do things that under normal circumstances would go against the grain. So who wanted to watch a Hindi movie - which is usually prone to overdramatization and extreme moments of uncomfortable melodrama - about a small town girl forced by circumstances to become an escort? Certainly not me.

I caught this movie on television. I watched the kind of Indian mentality which leads a father to tell his daughter not to try and become a son. It is positively criminal. She of course grits her teeth and makes up her mind to become successful at all costs, little knowing that that is the minimum that would be required.

Mumbaikars are painted with a harsh, uncaring and selfish brush. The imagery is true, with most city-dwellers rarely condescending to deal with encroaching mushrooms from the rural areas of the country. There is also the selfish streak that allows people to use others for their own ends and then cast them aside once they are done.

Rani Mukherjee's character discovers all this and much more, before she is forced into making a decision that is irrevocable. Once done, she picks up the tatters of her dignity and makes the game her own. Only a handful of people know what has happened and they all behave with varying degrees of acceptance.

She becomes happier as her family finances improve, and she moves around in the best circles. Her sister comes to town and finds work and love quickly.

The ending of the story could not have been handled better, and although I was prepared to be up in arms with regards to a male chauvinist plot, the ending left a good feeling all around.

Uncle Fred in the Springtime

2009-12-26T11:37:00.004+05:30

Ordinarily, I love P. G. Wodehouse books. There are the odd couple of reasons why I can't read through his books in one sitting, but that's mainly a personal shortcoming. It is certainly no reflection on the sumptuousness of his writing style.

I discovered Wodehouse very recently, having been weaned on a diet of Enid Blyton in my youth. I was so delighted with one book I happened to pick up, it has become an ambition to acquire and read all his books. (I tend to be a little compulsive about sets and sequences.)

I finished Uncle Fred in the Springtime yesterday, after the book lay on my nightstand for almost a month. Part of the reason was due to excessive traveling, but sometimes I find Wodehouse plots to be convoluted beyond rational imagining. However, even though I sometimes close the book due to sheer exhaustion, these seemingly impossible tangles seem to resolve themselves quite satisfactorily in the end.

In my opinion though, that didn't happen with Uncle Fred. The tangle does resolve itself, without a doubt, however the satisfaction was definitely absent. The usual smooth ending was completely absent, and in its inimitable stead, there was a fresh tangle of lines. The ending was improbable and flimsy, again in my opinion. Apart from that though, the book is truly Wodehouse with chuckles embedded in every turn of phrase.

I just wish it had ended differently.

Avatar

2009-12-21T10:49:00.004+05:30

Few movies have the power of being so absorbing that you find yourself almost in the very landscape. Avatar was definitely one of them. And I watched the 2D version yesterday.

The movie is chockful of technical brilliance, but that isn't what makes it special. That merely ties up an important message in a very pretty packaging. Or so I think.

The movie is about the human race, mining for a valuable mineral on the planet Pandora. The planet is alien and beautiful, therefore there are a team of biologists who try to interact peaceably with the natives, through the use of a hybrid body known as an Avatar. The natives, otherwise known as the Na'avi, are a spiritual race, deeply attuned to the pulse of the forest. Each tree and animal forms a microcosm of an interconnected web of life that sustains all life on Pandora. The Na'avi are able to connect, even thought they are a race roughly equivalent to the human race. (Which we all know is a selfish one.)

The Na'avi village is actually a huge tree which also happens to be sitting atop the largest deposit of the mineral. One of the Avatars attempt to befriend the tribe, hoping to find a way to remove them gently from their place.

The movie proceeds along predictable lines to its conclusion. There are really no surprises.

But. (This is a BIG 'but'.) The movie contains some very powerful messages.

Firstly, those of us who have had the pleasure of being invaded by other people can sympathise with the unfairness of one's rights snatched away from us. Foreigners come in, take by force what is not theirs and persecute the indigenous natives. It has happened throughout history with tragic consequences.

Secondly, the deep connection with nature portrayed in the movie should shine a light on the wanton destruction of our planet. Resources are chewed up and spat out without thought by heartless corporate entities, leaving this once-beautiful green planet a pile of rotting rubble.

And thirdly, when Jake Sully (the infiltrator Avatar) is saved by a woman from the tribe, she has to butcher a number of forest creatures -vaguely modeled on wild dogs. She then mourns the unnecessary violence and death. Throughout the movie, even when hunting, the death of prey is conducted with grace, thanking the being for the nutrition it is about to provide. The act is humane and spiritual, giving the animal the respect it deserves.

As the movie came to a close, I could really think of very little else. As I have grown older, my true disdain for the human race, and the disgust it inspires in me threatens to overwhelm me entirely. Avatar merely reinforced that opinion.

It is a fabulous movie, and even though my father slept through most of it, I think his taste in movies is dubious at best. If not for the messages, go for the story. If not for the story, go for the special effects. It is worth the experience.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2009-09-30T20:32:00.005+05:30

Marvel Comics are always so dark and dismal. There is no clear good and bad, all the characters are shades of gray. I enjoyed X-Men and its sequels because the effects were spectacular and the superpowers were awesome.

The storylines had me slightly confused though; mostly because I like the end of the movie to clear up any fogginess that surrounds the characters. I watched all three X-Men movies avidly, hoping that one of them would shed some light on Wolverine.

After all, Wolverine was the central character. And he was played by Hugh Jackman, who I absolutely adore.

So when X-Men Origins: Wolverine came out, I was sorely disappointed about not being able to watch it on the big screen. And I waited patiently for it to come out on DVD.

The story starts even before the credits, with James (the future Logan) a young boy with a high fever. From that point on, everything spirals into the darkness. Sabretooth, played by Liev Schreiber, turns out to be Wolverine's brother. They are virtually indestructible, so they survive through the centuries, even though they actively participate in every war that tears the land apart.

Sabretooth is volatile and vicious, caring for no one except maybe a tiny bit for Wolverine. Due to an insubordination, the brothers are sentenced to death by firing squad. Which of course doesn't work.

During their incarceration, they are approached by a army guy named Stryker. He recruits them because of their strange abilities into an elite task force. Their mission is not revealed.

Wolverine finally tires of bloodshed and leaves the task force, to settle with a girl in the Canadian Rockies. The story follows his descent into revenge and rage after Sabretooth kills her.

Stryker appears out of nowhere and offers him a way to beat Sabretooth: coating his skeleton with adamantium.

Of course, there are double-crosses upon double-crosses and finally the tale gets tangled up in itself. The story isn't ground-breaking, but Hugh Jackman is fabulous. The special effects are pretty good, but they are no where in the league of the X-Men movies.

There is no suspense here, thankfully, and the movie ends by explaining how Wolverine loses his memory.

Seven Pounds

2009-09-30T19:25:00.003+05:30

Will Smith is sometimes enough advertisement for any movie. That holds true for some percentage of the movie-going population, including me.

I hadn't heard about Seven Pounds before I watched it, and we decided to go only because the poster had a Will Smith picture with the movie title across the bottom.

I don't think it is feasible to describe the plot of the movie without giving away a lot of the story.

The movie is profoundly sad, and explores the deep-seated guilt that a good person feels when he has wronged innocent people, however inadvertently. Will Smith goes to great lengths to attempt to even out the wrongs he has committed.

I think the seven pounds borrows from The Merchant of Venice when Shylock demands his 'pound of flesh'. Here, Will has wronged seven people.

The movie is profound and depressing. There is very little happiness, but at the end you feel respect for a man who gives up so much just to ease his conscience.

Definitely worth a watch.

The Water Horse

2009-09-29T11:32:00.009+05:30

Like many, many people all over the world, I am totally fascinated by the Loch Ness creature. I say 'creature' because my definition of a 'monster' is Hitler.

The Loch Ness creature is stuff of fables and legends, and even today people have sightings of the majestic being.

The Water Horse is a delightful movie, set in the time of war. I usually hate those movies because I hate the thought of war and what it does to humankind. Soldiers perish on the front, and families suffer away at home. There is nothing gained from war.

The movie is about a young boy who lives in a big house. His mother works as a housekeeper for the lord of the manor, and he is a lonely little child with an all-abiding fear of open water. One fine day, while playing with sea shells and ocean debris, he finds an unusual egg. He picks it up and takes it home, where he hides it in his father's workshop.

A few days later, a small gray creature breaks its way out of the egg and blinks up at him. It is the fabled Loch Ness creature. He names it Crusoe, after Robinson Crusoe, and proceeds to bring him up in secret. Of course, before long Crusoe becomes too large to fit in a tub, and has to be set free in the loch.

The story follows the adventures of the small boy and Crusoe through war times. The movie has beautiful moments as the bond develops between the two.

However, I felt tremendously sad, as the legend says that every water horse is born an orphan. There can be only one water horse in the world at any time.

I turned off the movie, hoping very much that it wasn't true.

The Incredible Hulk

2009-09-29T11:32:00.006+05:30

My first Edward Norton movie was Primal Fear. I had that movie on LD, and the last scene when Richard Gere is leaving the holding cell has remained with me till today. I thought Edward Norton was one of the most sinister characters I'd ever laid eyes on.

Of course I was very young at the time, plus I associated all actors with the roles they played. So I was dead wrong of course. Now the sinister aspect I had imbued Norton with has been replaced with a profound respect for the angular-featured actor.

I watched The Incredible Hulk more than a year ago, so there is very little I remember of the movie except for Edward Norton. He plays the troubled, mild-mannered Bruce Banner so well it left an impression. He struggled for control over a volatile temper, with far more serious ramifications that any normal temper.

I thought the movie was well-made, without crazy action sequences that I more often than not find difficult to follow. I respect advancement in technology, but sometimes it is just plain hard to understand what is going on. I imagine this is why armies in the old days wore colours - instant identification.

I enjoyed the movie, and probably will get it on DVD, although it doesn't top the list.

What's Your Rashee?

2009-09-28T13:12:00.003+05:30

I didn't really want to go for this movie, but we generally wanted to watch something so we went anyway. BIG mistake.

The Patel family in Mumbai is in a bit of a financial soup, thanks to the swindling tendencies of the eldest son. They need a large sum of money super-fast. Through the aegis of an astrologer they find out that their younger son is going to receive a large sum of money on his wedding day. However, the caveat is that the time for his marriage is a little closer than expected - the 20th of month. (They neglect to tell us what day it is currently.) Also, this piece of good fortune is somewhat confirmed when the maternal grandfather calls to say he is bequeathing all his wealth to the same grandson on his wedding day.

Yogesh Patel, MBA and NRI and many other acronyms besides, is unaware of his impending nuptials. Lured to back to India on the pretext of his father's ill health, they spring the whole mess on him. of course he is taken aback and not ready to wed.

During his first night there, he is unable to sleep because of the time difference. He picks up a book called 'What's Your Rashee?' and discovers there are 12 types of girls, one per astrological sign.

After agreeing to go along with the crazy scheme, his father takes him to a relative. The relative often doubles up as a marriage broker. He has <insert number here (oh wait, I don't care)> girls lined up. Yogesh, utilizing his new knowledge, wants to meet only 12 girls - one of each astrological sign.

This merry-go-round carries on for the rest of the movie. There are two sub-plots: the relative has a suspicious wife who signs on his father to play detective. She suspects there is a mistress in the wings. The second sub-plot is a little more sinister; his brother has been intelligent enough to borrow money from an underworld kingpin.

The twist in the tale is that Yogesh meets 12 girls, apparently identical to each other. And this little nugget is visible only to him. His grandfather explains that he is seeing the girl he wants to marry in every girl he encounters.

After 4 hours of piteous misery, the rigmarole resolves itself and Yogesh marries the girl with whom he has fallen in love.

Great.

Can I have my money back?

Harman Baweja should consider giving up acting whilst he is still young and capable of building a career in another field. Perhaps freelance as a sack of potatoes. Enough said.

Priyanka Chopra is irritating to the extreme as multiple Gujrati girls. There is a serious overdose here, although she does manage to pull of some of the characters with great panache.

The movie was silly from start to finish. Avoid at all costs.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

2009-09-27T00:25:00.003+05:30

Possibly no secret to anyone I know, I don't really like Shah Rukh Khan. But I do go for some of his movies nonetheless because sometimes they are quite nice.

I didn't really like this movie very much. Possibly because, for me, Bollywood flicks are meant to be fun and frolicsome. No tragi-comic stories with lame ducks and broken hearts.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is the story of a young man from Punjab. Not a startling man by any means, but one that gets by with a respectable job in a reputable organization and with minimum of fuss. He is a confirmed bachelor simply because he is much too shy to meet girls, let alone converse with them. He has next to no social life.

One fine day, he attends a wedding in his old teacher's home. The teacher's daughter is marrying the man she fell in love with, and as SRK sees her dancing in glee with her friends, he marvels at her lighthearted happiness.

Just then a messenger comes to say that her groom-to-be has met with an accident on the way to the wedding and has passed away. She runs to her room in despair, while her father suffers a heart attack with the shock.

The upshot of all this drama is that her father is critically ill, and unlikely to survive for very long. As she has no one else, he asks her to marry SRK's character. They both accept reluctantly, knowing full well that it is a marriage of convenience. Her father passes away in peace and they wed.

The adjustment period is difficult on both individuals - one crushed by tragedy and the other in love with his new wife who has no feelings except gratitude for him. A status quo is finally established with a few mild-mannered hiccups along the way.

A travelling dance program comes into town and the girl shows her first bout of enthusiasm then. She enrolls herself. Her husband also enrolls, after due consideration and a serious make-over, hoping to get closer to his wife as an entirely new person.

They become friends, and he finally tells her he loves her. At first she is horrified, seeing as she is a married woman. By and by, she realizes that this man makes her laugh, something she never thought she could do again.

And then of course, the whole story proceeds into an unholy tangled mess. As the characters get deeper and deeper into their respective messes, SRK becomes more and more miserable.

Finally there seems to be no clean, happy solution which presents itself. (At least it wasn't evident to me.)

Of course there was a resolution. And it was sappy and unnecessarily dramatic.

I did not like the movie, although I loved some of the songs.

Dil Bole Hadippa!

2009-09-27T00:20:00.003+05:30

Less than hour after watching the movie at the theatre, and I'm already at my laptop banging out a review. Why? Because I have a few strong (bordering on vicious) opinions about this movie, and I was absolutely dying to voice them.

Firstly, the movie was lovely. A little overtly Punjabi, but then again there is no Yash Raj movie that isn't. Newsflash people: the beating-on-chest and deep-voiced 'I'm from the Punjab' is OLD. Get over already. India has some OTHER beautiful cultures too. Yeesh.

Secondly, I thought Rani Mukherjee was a doll. So utterly cute. And Shahid was a good foil. Again, newsflash people: the movie was about HER. Not him. So her name should've come first in the credits. Ugh our male chauvinist pig society. (This will come up a few more times in this review.)

Thirdly, why oh why did they muck up the ending? A nice light-hearted comedy and they made it all emotional and sappy towards the end.

- I would have had a much better opinion of Shahid's Y-chromosome if he hadn't gotten his panties into a bunch when he found out his opening batsmen was a girl. The same girl he was falling for. Geez man, LIGHTEN UP. I would've cheered like a sailor if he'd just laughed and said that he was just piqued that she didn't let him in on the secret. But NOOO, he has to get all weepy and clench-fisted, hurt and wounded, angry and irritable.

Yawn.

- When Rani Mukherjee is unveiled as a girl, and everyone boos, why does she get all emotional? Where is her Punjabi grit and spunk? Skin-deep me thinks. Her dialogue on the mike should have been along these lines:

"Dear ladies and pansies, you are only upset because a girl beat all you so-called men. You testicle-less morons have no business to sit there and judge me. I've proved myself better than all of you, so hell I sit here in judgment of your sorry behinds. And Ali Ansari? Next time you trip me, I WILL mistake your genitalia for cricket balls. That is all. Now go F*** yourselves."

Ah, that felt better.

Little Women

2009-09-26T11:24:00.003+05:30

One of the classics, Little Women references have populated pop culture for many years now.

Back in school, my class put up a play where we played a scene from Little Women. The scene was set during Christmas time where the March sisters give up their dinner for the impoverished Hummel family. I played one of the Hummel children, and I remember my mother fraying an old set of my clothes to further reflect their abject poverty.

Then over the course of the years, I caught glimpses of the innumerable adaptations of the novel; whether plays, movies or even excerpts. But I never managed to read the whole book, or watch the full movie.

Little Women needs no praise, as anyone who ever had any interest in reading knows about the four girls. It is a brilliant classic, without any doubt.

The only caveat I had was the author's slightly moralistic tone of voice. That may have been applicable in her time and age, but in ours? Not a whit. One doesn't read novels for a lecture in moral science after all.

I still loved the book, and it is definitely one of my all time favourites.

Night at The Museum 2

2009-09-25T22:49:00.004+05:30

It was pretty gutsy making a movie about stuffed animals and dinosaurs coming to life, considering how the concept was thrashed to death in the Jurassic Park age. However, the first movie was a great success, as it was funny, and it was a triumph of man over his failings that never misses. Plus the encounters with people like Teddy Roosevelt and other historic figures must've definitely gotten the attention of enthusiasts. It has just that twinge of supernatural that makes magic so real and within reach.

Night at The Museum 2 is set at the Smithsonian. The museum is bigger, there are many many more artifacts and well, the chaos that ensues is on a colossal scale.

The moving parts are newer although old favourites from the first movie (otherwise known as the known movie stars) reprise their roles once more.

New additions include Amy Adams plays Amelia Earhardt, the spunky pilot and Hank Azaria as the older Egyptian prince.

While everyone is all fine, and their performances are good, Hank Azaria steals the show. His scenes as an Egyptian prince are riotously funny, as his accent is British and he speaks with a slight lisp. His patent exasperation with his subordinates and his 'partners in crime' is hilarious.

My particular favourites are:

1) The one with Darth Vader and the Trashcan monster from Sesame street.

2) The one where his bird-men fly back into the portal

3) The one where Ben Stiller is trying to retrieve the hourglass in which he has imprisoned Owen Wilson's character, Jedediah. Here is a low-quality video I found on YouTube.

I laughed myself into stitches because of these scenes, and I think Hank Azaria, and a little Amy Adams is the reason people should watch this movie on DVD.

This is perhaps not the popular opinion, but then again, I don't care.

Brida

2009-09-25T22:21:00.002+05:30

Brida is a book that is very simply written, but manages to convey powerful messages. That alone makes it one of the best books written.

It is the story of a girl who sets out on a quest to discover magic. She looks for teachers, and finds two that couldn't be more different from one another.

The lessons she learns are sometimes difficult and obscure, yet she manages to find herself on her quest.

While the above summary may seem very vague and somewhat waffly, the book itself is a like a closely-written parable that takes some deciphering.

I enjoy these books because the messages tie in closely, if not directly parallel, the esoteric truths that I read in books on spirituality and philosophy. There is a synchronicity in the fundamentals that underlie every ancient tradition and culture, fundamentals that do not vary just because their practices span different continents or dimensions.

Brida is a book that can be enjoyed on one of two levels: one, is the simple story of a girl who goes looking for magic and finds it. The second is the understanding that magic really resides in us all; we just have to find it. And we will at the right time.

Paulo Coelho is a powerful writer. Each of his books is a simple parable with a revelatory knockout lurking behind the words.

The Ugly Truth

2009-09-25T21:59:00.003+05:30

Love.

Before the movie: Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl. (In that order.)

After the movie: the movie.

Bad news first - the movie is formulaic. If you want something that has a super original storyline, a message in the movie and scenes that make you sit up and think: don't go for The Ugly Truth. You're better off sleeping.

Because The Ugly Truth isn't a groundbreaking movie by any stretch of imagination.

The good news - (where do I start?)

I love comedies, although rom-coms with the misunderstandings and the tear-jerking scenes where the relationship is on the verge of going down the toilet and the subsequent making up makes me nauseous. I enjoy comedies without any emotional leavening.

There The Ugly Truth delivers. The comedy is slightly PG-13, but it does make you laugh till your sides ache, and then some more.

Katherine Heigl is the epitome of the woman in control. High-powered, job over personal life, efficiency over looks and contempt for most men as inferior beings - she's the whole single package, dying for a 'meaningful relationship with a sensitive man'.

After a chance phone-in conversation with an obnoxious man on television, she is horrified to learn that her boss has planted the very same bloke on her show to up the ratings.

Enter the very skanky, very rugged and very yummy Gerard Butler. His humour is all about sex - unashamedly so. He tells women to get over their 'sensitive' criterion and realize that men and shallow. There are specific ways to snag a guy, and girls that want guys need to a) get in shape b) be pretty.

Of course there is the obvious tussle in the office, which spills over into their personal lives. Katherine 'encounters' a hot new neighbour and Gerard helps her snag him by coaching her reactions and looks.

Of course they end up spending a great deal of time together, and they develop feelings for each other, and yada yada yada.

However there are no emotional scenes. No tears, no recriminations and no unnecessary "I'm-so-sorry-I-love-you-and-only-you" scenes. Thank God.

Go watch it. It's fun.

The Lost Symbol

2009-09-25T21:11:00.003+05:30

It's really hard to synopsise a Dan Brown book without letting on a number of the plot details. The man is so stingy with the facts leading up to the state of events, making the reader almost cry with frustration because there is little or no understanding of what is happening. It's a little like being led into a cave of wonders blindfolded and expected to assimilate as much as possible by feeling your way around.

Having got my annoyance at being kept in the dark out of the way, I must say that I loved The Lost Symbol. A fascination for secret societies and arcane knowledge has never failed to reel me right in, and The Lost Symbol caters to that exactly.

There is enough fact in the book to make the reader wonder about the realities of the secret societies and whether there really is a 'lost symbol'. The story with Robert Langdon is of course make believe, so there is no danger of wondering on that particular front.

The book moves fast, having been set in a time-span of 12 hours. Yet I was frustrated most of the time because I didn't understand WHY something was happening. Of course, that had the effect of me reading so fast that the words almost blurred.

The book holds the reader's interest till the climax, at which point I was sitting on the edge of my seat. As the book starts revealing its intricacies, a short 2 pages before the climax I realized what the finale was going to be - and I felt exactly how Robert Langdon expressed himself repeatedly during the book: How could I have missed something that was sitting right in front of my nose?

What I liked about The Lost Symbol was that Dan Brown did away with what seemed to be a pattern in his books: a character that one thought was the one fail-safe good guy (barring the actual protagonist) was always the criminal mastermind. That doesn't happen here.

What I didn't like was the unnecessary pages post-climax. Those dragged on and on for me, where they go looking for the actual 'treasure' and what it turns out to be. After such a thrilling climax, the ending was very bland. Plus all the nervous excitement built up in the preceding pages has exploded by then, and a tiredness is all the last few pages has to offer.

I would definitely recommend reading this one; and although comparisons are odious, Da Vinci Code was better, but not all that much better. It's different and it's fun reading; if a little stressful.

Bedtime Stories

2009-09-25T15:12:00.002+05:30

After 'You Don't Mess With the Zohan' I was highly reluctant to watch anything with Adam Sandler in it. He is evidently degenerating into some crazy human-like form with a ridiculous accent/speech impediment.

Don't get me wrong - I loved Wedding Singer and I thought he was powerful in The Longest Yard; but honestly? He really seems to be past it now. His comedies are farces true, but how come Seth Rogen manages the same genre without being completely ridiculous? (I may be slightly biased, because I think Seth Rogen is so adorable - but that's beside the point.)

Bedtime Stories unfortunately did nothing to mitigate my opinion of Adam Sandler. It is about a two kids whose father is a humble motel owner. The father, while a great hotelier, is a lousy businessman; he eventually has to sell the hotel that he loves to stave off financial ruin. The person who buys the motel wants to build a deluxe hotel in its place, and promises the old man that one day his son will run the place.

Adam Sandler is the son, and surprise surprise the new owner goes back on his word and Adam Sandler remains a lowly maintenance guy. Strangely though, he is not bitter but always cheerful. Sometimes nauseatingly so.

His sister meanwhile has two kids and she leaves them with her brother for a few days while she goes off somewhere. During this time, to put them to sleep (and to get them to like him) he tells them stories.

Stories which come true the next day - in a modern, everyday context, of course.

What follows is supposed to be hilarity, as the most ridiculous events transpire because of the stories the previous night. Of course, it doesn't. Not remotely.

The movie is a complete yawn-fest, and I only watched it to the end because I am compulsive that way.

Avoid at all costs.

The Fourth Estate

2009-09-25T14:34:00.003+05:30

I am famous in my family for burning through books that I enjoy, whereas having tomes that I don't collect inches of dust on my bedside table.

The Fourth Estate was one of those - I mean the ones I read super-fast.

The book is colossal so it took me more than one night to finish it, to the immense relief of the people around me. (I wonder how much I spend on books every month?)

Jeffrey Archer is one of my favourite novelists, and barring Prison Diaries, I don't think I've missed many intentionally.

The Fourth Estate is about two rather unscrupulous newspapermen tussling over a prime acquisition. The book starts in the present where both men owe a great deal of money, and have no immediate method to pay it. And then the book moves to their beginnings to explain how exactly they manage to get into their current predicament. Their backgrounds couldn't be more different.

Keith Townsend is part of a blue-blooded society in Australia. His father is a prominent newspaperman, although local, and his mother is a powerful socialite. He grows up, trained to take over the helm of his company and run it in the same fashion it has been done for years. From his school days he is painted as a fairly alright, if not entirely truthful person with a knack of putting other people to a disadvantage. He then proceeds to turn it to good account.

On the other side, Richard Armstrong begins his life in much humbler circumstances in pre-war Poland. His family is poor, sometimes subsisting on as little as one potato amongst the whole brood. The main cause for their abject poverty seems to be the terrible weather conditions, as well as his father's ineffectualness as an efficient farmer. He claws his way up the ladder, finally fleeing to England to build his empire based on lying, cheating and by breaking every rule ever known. All in all, while one starts by feeling deeply sympathetic, the feeling by the end of the book is that the man is an out-and-out villain.

The book chronicles their lives, where they start off in their own countries oblivious to each other entirely. It moves through their petty victories and high handed ruthlessness in an effort to reach the top. Their personal lives take backseats and relationships fall by the wayside.

The author paints Armstrong in decidedly black colours, while Townsend is just not a man to trust without very good reason. He has a few more scruples and at least he doesn't murder anyone.

A riveting book; very fast-paced considering it encompasses the lives of two 50+ men minutely. Each of the leads has many layers added to their personas, till they become extraordinarily real to the reader.

Blood Brothers

2009-09-25T11:18:00.002+05:30

When I was in Ooty with my aunt, her college students were invited to a cultural festival put up by one of the MANY schools that line the hills and dales of Ooty countryside.

Since I was there, I decided to go too.

Now Ooty schools mostly are the kind that were opened by British educators. So the curriculum and the method of doing things is way better than a standard school setting.

Something I got to see first-hand.

The students were accomplished to say the very least. The festival was organized for a number of days, and each day something was put up. The finale however was the same play - Blood Brothers.

The play itself was a tragedy with a few funny moments strewn in to alleviate the oppressive feeling.

The story is about a poor woman with a number of children. She strives and strives everyday to feed them and keep the home fires burning. Her background is frighteningly textbook - a pretty girl, with not much ambition beyond gay revelry, meets a handsome boy with much the same ambitions. They conceive a child and are forced into adulthood with the responsibility. Intelligence wasn't their strongest suit, so they continued to have children; until one fine day the not-so-handsome man decides to leave.

However, not before they realize she is pregnant again.

She manages to grit her teeth and get ready for the newest arrival.

On the other hand, the lady she works for is a one of leisure and little work. She spends most of her time shopping with her husband's money, while he spends most of his time away on business trips. Her desire to have a child remains unfulfilled.

The poorer lady treks off to the doctor, only to find out that she is expecting twins. Horrified at the thought of the extra expense, she goes into a stress-related tailspin, unloading most of her fears on her employer.

The lady's brain clicks into place, and she propositions the maid to sell one of the twins to her for her own. After much persuasion, they finally agree, and swear not to let on to anyone else. The lady pretends to get pregnant, and the transfer takes place.

The story progresses through the lives of the twins and their ignorance of each other's true identity. The small boys become fast friends even as their mothers try their best to keep them apart.

The play was riveting, even though the actors were high-school children. They carried through the plot with immense commitment, earning them well-deserved applause after every act.

The play is a musical adapted from a book by Willy Russell. It was a super-hit musical with a number of famous names playing characters.

Definitely worth a watch - if one is in West End, of course.

Love Aaj Kal

2009-08-02T01:39:00.003+05:30

A number of Indian youth of the NRI variety will probably identify with this movie. Not because it is set abroad, but because of the ambitiousness that the two main characters display. They are goal-oriented and know exactly how various parts of their lives fit in the grand jigsaw.

Of course, they will also identify with the realization that love isn't something that falls into well-planned grooves and sometimes compromise is really what is most required.

The story is simple enough with no twists or turns, taking the movie above the mundane level of Hindi cinema. Boy meets girl, they date, become inseperable best friends. However, her career takes her to India, whereas his dreams see him in San Francisco. They part amicably, without tears and a great dose of practicality. Keeping in constant touch, they start to move on in life, at least on the surface.

Running as a constant theme in the background, and sometimes in the foreground, is another old Indian's love story. Back when things were more difficult because of the times and the cultural taboos, he preaches of a love that conquers all practicalities and considerations.

Initially, there is ridicule at his old fashioned ideas and archaic ideas of love, but slowly parallels between love back then and love now begin to emerge; revealing that, no matter what age one happens to live in, love does in fact conquer all.

On a prosier note, I was thrilled with the acting and direction. True artistry lies in simplicity and being natural, and this movie was light-hearted and fun, yet tugged firmly at the heartstrings. Saif Ali Khan is probably at the top of his game in Bollywood, although he does look a big hagged. Deepika looks fresh and wholesome, without conveying the nauseating impression of being virginal. I detest virginal heroines, as they pander shamelessly to the disgusting Indian male mentality. For once, the kisses onscreen were portrayed naturally and not with accompanying pomp and fanfare, background music and fireworks.

I may be partial to comedies, and I do enjoy the occasional light-hearted romance, so I will give this movie a definite thumbs up.

Bolt

2009-07-24T14:20:00.005+05:30

I have a really soft corner for dogs, and animation movies too, so when Bolt came out, I rushed to watch it.

Possibly my favourite scene of the entire movie is the first one, where a small white puppy chases his tail and attacks a squeeze toy carrot with unwarranted ferocity. It is adorable.

The story is about a show dog, Bolt, who is adopted by a little girl, Penny. A true bond of love springs up between the two, something with which every dog owner will sympathize.

Bolt and Penny are the stars of a popular TV show, where they figth crime together. Penny plays the daughter of a noted scientist, and Bolt is a dog endowed with innumerable super abilities. The catch in all this is that the dog truly believes that he is a superhero, and that all their missions are real.

While the missions were successfully resolved in one episode each, everything progressed smoothly. However, one episode had Penny kidnapped without Bolt being able to rescue her. He then breaks out of his trailer and into the real world for the first time.

Bolt's journey to find Penny and the way he comes to grips with the actuality of things forms most of the movie. He has help in the form of a street-smart street cat and a hamster in a bubble.

Great movie with funny dialogue and hilarious situations. Definitely recommended for dog lovers and kindred saps like me.

She's All That

2009-07-24T13:59:00.005+05:30

I watched this movie once voluntarily, and a second time because there was really nothing else on television. Perhaps because I am currently drooling maniacally over Paul Walker and i think Freddie Prinze Jr. has a little lost boy expression which attracts females all over.

It's a modern take on the ever-endearing story of Pygmalion, of a undiscovered beauty lying beneath layers and layers of accumulated dust and derision.

Rachel Leigh Cook revels in the unfortunate name Laney Boggs, an art student and a shy shrinking introvert, happy to remain unnoticed in a stratosphere far removed from the glitz and glamour of the popular set.

On the other end of the school spectrum is Zack Siler, who is unceremoniously dumped by his hotshot girlfriend. Smarting from the blow, and desperate to prove that he doesn't need her, he strikes up an obnoxious bet with his equally obnoxious friends.

The movie then progresses into a rigmarole starting from Zack chasing Laney and Laney treating Zack's attentions with patent suspicion and utter disbelief, to Laney's rather painful assimilation into the popular set. Of course she finds out, and no prizes for guessing the conclusion.

Nothing groundbreaking of course, but a fairly entertaining movie with a lot of snide remarks directed at social stereotypes. Definitely watch for the eye candy.

As a side note, I would like to see Jodi Lyn O'Keefe in a role that didn't make the audience want to throttle the life out of her.

Watchmen

2009-07-24T00:34:00.002+05:30

Although I'm not a comic book aficiando by any means, I was looking forward to the movie quite a bit. I had serious doubts about this movie releasing in India because of the full frontal male nudity. However it did, and I got to watch it.

I wasn't unduly disappointed, as the movie is made very well. The actors were not high profile, and therefore suited the multi-starrer perfectly. Each played their respective roles beautifully. Jeffrey Dean Morgan was utterly repulsive as the Comedian and yet by the end of the movie there was a grudging sympathy for the poor fellow.

Malin Ackerman is stunningly beautiful, and fulfils her role as eye candy admirably. Nite Owl is a sorrowful slightly seedy superhero in decline. Brilliant. Dr. Manhattan is the unapproachable genius, detached from everything human. Ozymandias is the super intelligent philanthropist. And lastly, the most powerful character is Rorschach, the mysterious and ruthless judge and executioner.

On the whole, the story was woven together into a cohesive and fascinating tapestry. However, the movie was extraodinarily depressing without a iota of humour that would've provided the necessary leavening. Some of the scenes were gory and horrifying, one of which I couldn't dislodge from my mind for a long while.

The story is an alternate version of world history, one that incorporates superheroes in the everday fabric of life. The superheroes have been asked to derobe and quit the vigilante justice they have been dishing out hitherto. And then one of them gets killed. Rorschach decides to investigate and slowly uncovers a plot that has global significance.

Great movie, left a great impact.

The Hangover

2009-07-24T00:15:00.003+05:30

Question: What's a boy's version of a 'chick flick'?

Answer: The Hangover

Probably the ultimate guy movie, The Hangover was a laughter riot from start to finish. And while I do not remotely identify with anything remotely masculine, I enjoyed this movie a lot.

The story is about four guys that head off to Vegas for a bachelor night. Of the four guys, there are three best friends including the groom, and the bride-to-be's brother. The groom is a fun guy excited to get married, and thrilled to spend a bachelor weekend in Vegas with his best mates. The second is a fun-loving, rather unscrupulous guy's guy. Surprisingly a married teacher, his character seems to be chafing at the bonds of society norms. So he lives vicariously through his friend. The third fellow is a staid dentist, living in abject terror of his live-in girlfriend. Vegas brings out his fun side with some hilarious consequences.

The bride-to-be's brother makes the unpredictable fourth. His notions are whacked to stay the least, and he is the underlying cause for most of the trouble the four get up to together.

The tale spans two days, and after a night of revelry, of which they remember nothing, three of them wake up to find that they've lost the groom, acquired a tiger in their bathroom, found a baby, have hospital tags on their wrists among the mayhem in their rooms.

They try desperately finding the groom, leading them down a path of unparalleled silliness and hilarious amusement.

Great movie, guy or girl.

Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less

2009-07-23T14:03:00.003+05:30

Jeffrey Archer used to be one of my favourite authors of all time. His writing was witty and light, without being frothy. His tales were gripping in a certain sense, as he didn't give up plot points easily. The reader needed to keep reading to understand the whole story. While that is true of most books, it isn't a prerequisite for a good tale.

I pounced on Not a Penny More.. when I first saw it. And read it in one sitting.

However, it didn't live up to my expectations. Although that may seem inconsistent since I've already admitted to reading it in one shot, I still wasn't thrilled with the book.

It is the story of an unscrupulous man who swindles four men out of $1 million through dud shares. Instead of lying down and accepting their rotten fate, one of the four decides to extract the money right back. After enlisting the aid of the other three, the Team hatches plots to retrieve their money.

What then ensues is an elaborate storyline of cat and mouse. However enjoyable the story was, it had a definite streak of impossible coincidence, true of most Archer novels.

An interesting read, although not one of the all-time greats.

Shortkut

2009-07-12T10:23:00.003+05:30

Arshad Warsi has great comic timing and Akshaye Khanna is GORGEOUS. Plus the story seemed to have substance and was very credible. Yet the movie was a disaster. Complete, utter, total washout.

The story revolves around Shekhar, a hopeful and hardworking movie director. He works his way up the industry ladder, and has just managed to complete a film script of which he is justifiably proud. Along comes a good-for-nothing friend who purloins the script for his own gain. In addition, a big movie star is in love with him. While that may be a good thing to some, considering he loves her too, he wants to keep the relationship under wraps to make sure that he climb to the top is not attributed to her success. She leaves her family, and marries him. And Shekhar's life promptly decides to fall apart.

The rest of the movie portrays his descent into depression and the subsequent dusting-himself-off-and-starting-anew process.

While the story was brilliant, the execution was pitiable. The actors did their bits, but some of the scenes were unnecessary. Many of Arshad Warsi's one-liners, while exceedingly funny, did not garner a single chuckle out of the audience, as the comic timing was off mark.

The movie wasn't really worth a watch, and I would frankly dissuade anyone from making the mistake of watching it.

Street Kings

2009-03-27T18:36:00.005+05:30

No prizes for originality here.

A hot-headed and idealistic young cop who hates evil with a vengeance and doesn't always go by the book - Keanu Reeves.

The web of lies, deceit, and corruption that seems to be tightening around him.

The Internal Affairs cop that is hounding his every move.

The boss that loves him, and protects him like a son.

And of course, the wife that dies, leaving him hurting and alone.

(There is a love interest too, but she is very secondary to the plot - sort of like an accessory.)

I really can't post any spoilers here, because anyone who has seen a fair share of cop movies knows what the above ingredients will make of the movie.

I enjoyed the brilliant performances from the stellar star cast. The shoot-em-up scenes are gruesome to say the least.

The movie is alright, not bad and not particularly good. I reckon it's the kind of movie one will sit through when it airs on television on a slow night.

Step Brothers

2009-03-27T18:25:00.003+05:30

I seriously wonder what went through the heads of the makers of this movie. It is such an unbelievable movie.

The story is a twisted take on an all-too-common situation faced by single parents who marry. A man and woman meet, fall instantly and headlong in love with each at a conference. (No that isn't the weird part. Neither is the inappropriate comments made by the guy during his presentation.)

They each have a son living with them. However, this is where the twist comes in - the sons are 39 and 40 respectively. They have no education or jobs to speak off; they live in their own little dimensions, refusing to grow up and take responsibility for their lives. (I dream I now cherish desperately.)

In short, they are trapped in the mental capacities of 12-year olds, but they aren't backward or retarded.

There is an adjustment period, which goes very rockily. And that's just the beginning. Throw in an obnoxious younger brother, who is successful as well as being a stuck-up and horrible individual, and the two 'step-brothers' suddenly have a common enemy.

The movie is hilarious to say the least. There is not much of sense in the movie, as most of the situations are mutated versions of possible real-life instances.

Thoroughly enjoyable in every way, Step Brothers is a great movie for a rainy day.

Just don't expect a high-profile movie. It's simple and very effective.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth

2009-03-13T21:30:00.004+05:30

I have a soft corner for Brendan Fraser, so against all good advice and bad signs, I decided to watch this movie.

What a terrible mistake.

There are no redeeming factors in the movie. The plot is utterly ridiculous, and not even the part that was inspired by the book by Jules Verne. Of course, they are stuck in a rough situation, and have a timeline to leave.

Things I hated about the movie:

- Who buries the previous explorer if he came alone?

- There are dinosaurs, and dinosaur bones. One jawbone is used as a raft at one point.

- The kid keeps the lit-up bird as a pet.

- They bring back jewels from the expedition. Huge diamonds, rubies and emeralds.

- Of course, there is a romance angle. Couldn't it be left out for once? Just once?

- Oh, and they survive. Completely unscathed.

And these were just a few of the irritating factors of the movie. A very select few.

The Pink Panther 2

2009-03-13T21:20:00.005+05:30

Pink Panther was possibly one of my favourite movies of all time, with Steve Martin over-acting and butchering the French accent to unrecognizable smithereens. But it was hilarious. It accomplished being uproariously laugh-out loud, which was its goal in the first place.

Going for Pink Panther 2 was a no-brainer, even though the movies was panned by critics. Who really cares about what they say in any case?

Of course, the movie wasn't as good as the first, in the true tradition of sequels. The first half of the movie was funny, with a few unnecessary throwbacks to the first movie - like the 'hamburger' nonsense. Lesson learnt: overkill isn't funny.

Steve Martin was his usual insane self, and the other detectives were alright as the snobbish illuminati. Andy Garcia looked like an aging Lothario, but I imagine that was the intention.

Aishwarya Rai, on the other hand, is a national embarrassment. I couldn't comprehend the need to trump up her accent. It is evidently trumped up because it falls through in places. The determined acting is forced and particularly so when in the presence of such effortless acting in the others. Perhaps I am being hard on her because she is Indian, but honestly, she is truly an awful actress, however stunningly beautiful.

Jean Reno was a little silly, and came off a little hen-pecked, which was in deep constrast to his tough-guy (in a comedic sense) character.

The movie has no intelligent plot, with all the characters seeming to be addled at least a little. But it was fun, and that was the idea. Probably a good go-to film for a slow evening, where unwinding is the order of the day.

Milk

2009-03-13T21:11:00.004+05:30

I honestly am not homophobic. I have no issues with gays and none with lesbians either. Eaach to their own, I say.

Having said that, I feel a little uncomfortable when I see two guys making out. Even onscreen.

However, Milk was a great movie. For the first time, there was a true historical movie that didn't bore my socks off. There were all the elements of a great fictional story: humour, joy, sadness, and love. Some confrontation, clashes with authority, but most of all, dealing with prejudice.

There are no surprises in this movie, as at the outset, footage of Milk's assassination announcement is shown. The guy is slightly effeminate but completely normal in every other way. He isn't pure as the driven snow; he has his human moments too.

The movie sends a powerful message to the prejudiced people of the world - human beings are after all just human beings. They are living, breathing normal people with likes and dislikes similar to others. There really is no excuse for disliking someone because they have a different sexual preference or their skin colour isn't the same.

No excuse at all.

"If you prick me, do I not bleed?" - Shylock, Merchant of Venice.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

2009-03-13T19:04:00.006+05:30

I was a tiny bit hesistant when deciding to watch this particular gem because of obvious reasons.

But I did anyway, and I don't regret it for a second. Well except for one scene. That was jsut plain gross. No excuses.

The story is about two friends, living together in the most dismal conditions. They are out of money and, as the title gives away, out of decent options to make some. So they decide to make a pornographic film.

They get together a few varied people, each off-beat and not mainstream, and together they attempt the project. They are, to an extent, successful. But that's not the plot of the movie. It is about the evolving relationship between to life-long friends, and how the fear of losing a good friend sometimes puts the spanner in the works of a potentially great relationship.

There are no surprises in this movie. It's all predictable. But there is definite charm to the storytelling, with friendship and togetherness, while working as a team become evident in every scene.

Despite the raunchy nature of the movie, there is no lewdness nor vulgarity. The scenes are gentle and handled delicately without being overly conscious.

Personally, I loved the movie. I thought it was fun and quirky, yet predictable in an endearing sort of familiar way.

I also like Seth Rogen. Even though the guy has unruly hair, is fat and is completely ugly, whilst adding a liberal dose of obnoxiousness and has typical disgusting male habits, he is totally lovable in a very realistic way.

Worth a watch at home, with a cup of hot chocolate milk (except during that scene I referred to earlier), a bucket of popcorn and someone to cuddle.

The Whole Nine Yards

2009-03-01T14:58:00.008+05:30

I love Matthew Perry and Bruce Willis so I am pretty surprised this movie, which also happens to be my favourite genre, slipped through the cracks. I also have a tendency to get movie names thoroughly confused, and I got The Longest Yard thinking it was this movie.

Anyway, there is really no point reviewing this movie and as everyone has probably already seen it.

I loved the movie, and my strongest reaction was disgust that it was so blatantly copied as an English movie. The copy was terrible, with loads of unnecessary characters and plot twists. The only thing I liked about it, was Paresh Rawal, who as usual put in a fabulous comedic performance.

On a completely unrelated note, I cannot understand why two such drop-dead gorgeous people like Demi Moore and Bruce Willis would ever break up. They have a stunning gene pool. Bet their daughters are all levels of beautiful.

The movie was terrific. The actors were great. The storyline was amazing. The setting was peaceful and serene Canada, which was very ironic considering the story. A must-watch!

Marigold

2009-03-01T14:08:00.006+05:30

I think I watched this movie also because I found out on of my old schoolmates is in it. Unfortunately of course, the movie was really strange. I wouldn't call it altogether bad, because some parts of it were really heart-warming, and some were downright chuckle-worthy.

What I liked about the movie is that the Indian culture is shown in its true, maginificent form. The people, whether the movie stars, ordinary folk or the others, are shown in precisely the way they are. The art direction, the sets and the colours were magnificent, and a real treat visually. The Hindi movie running as a background theme was completely hilarious, and probably offended a lot of people. It was true to the B-grade cinema that is churned out on a regular basis.

However, the movie was one big confused jumble. It swung like a pendulum from the whimsicality of Indian cinema to the more reality-driven Western movie-style. Salman Khan's character was this pseudo-sensitive, slightly spiritual person who seemed completely disconnected with the Earth. Very bizarre. The animation was horrible, and the objects they used to cut from scene to scene only appeared in the second half of the movie. In fact, they were terrible - they shouldn't have appeared at all.

Ali Larter was great, Suchitra Pillai came off more bitchy than she did. Some of the one-liners were funny, especially the scene at the palace breakfast table. That had me chuckling for quite a while. Gulshan Grover managed to speak volumes by his patent disapproval, even though he had one word to say in the entire movie.

The royalty was depicted as real people with gracious manners, rather than some autocratic miserable patriach ruling the roost.

Eventually, I got to see the classmate and his acting. I refrain from commenting altogether. The movie isn't really worth a watch unless one enjoys colourful scenes from an exotic country.

Chandni Chowk To China

2009-02-04T20:53:00.004+05:30

I only went for this movie because it had Akshay Kumar - the guy has come up with some great comedic moments in the most ridiculous of movies (Welcome, Singh is Kinng).

However the chain of luck has broken. This movie was a disaster from start to finish. I would be at a total loss if I had to name one part of the movie that was the worst - the Hindi-speaking Chinese guy, the stupid stunts, the ridiculous storyline, or Deepika Padukone. (Deepika Padukone was an unmitigated disaster.)

There were of course the funny moments, where one forgot they shelled out a large sum of money to watch this ridiculous movie. But they were few and far between.

The movie is about a vegetable chopper in Chandni Chowk. No prizes for guesses where he lands up. How he reaches China makes up the first part of the movie: he is apparently a reincarnated Chinese hero and will deliver oppressed Chinese villagers from their fate. Throw in a corrupt sage who is out to make some moolah, and a kicking Mithun Chakraborty, and there you have it, a recipe for complete idiocy.

Deepika Padukone is on a mission to save her family. She has a long lost twin sister (but! of course) and her father is a raving lunatic. Excellent.

Do Indian directors have no brains? The only movie that is higher on my never-to-speak-of-again list is Spymate.

Artemis Fowl

2009-02-04T20:42:00.004+05:30

I really thought this book would be like the Harry Potter series. (Yes, I confess to liking the excellent writing and intricate storylines.) But I was sadly wrong; the book is aimed at children (a category I most certainly don't fall into) and I suppose I should evaluate it based on that fact.

I liked the overall idea, but the book did nothing to conjure images in my mind. I think that that is a vital part of any book. The characters were rather childish and the humour was virtually non-existent.

I'm sure kids will like the book, adults may find it dull. Especially since it can be read in one sitting.

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-31T16:10:00.004+05:30

For all the controversy surrounding this movie in India, I find all the objections to it perfectly ridiculous.

While it is impossible to 'love' this movie (at least for me), I will say it is exceptionally well-made. The premise is excellent; it boils down a boy who explains how his life experiences helped him through the questions of the gameshow. Simple, and very powerful.

The scenes depicting the Indian beggar world, and the red light districts are factual. There is no denying it. Protestors saying that the movie has shown only the ugly underbelly of Indian society are being stupid. True, that is not all there is to India as a whole, but that it the portion that is relevant to the movie and the story that it is trying to tell. Get over yourselves. The celebrities of the Indian film industry are pompous, self-important, stuffed shirts that zip around in their tinted glass cars, shutting out the very real world. Just because something makes them uncomfortable doesn't mean it's bad. Makes you feel that bad? Do something about it, instead complaining that India has been shown in a poor light. It's the truth - deal with it.

The acting was excellent, and the whole movie left a tremendous impact. The blood curdling scenes with the beggar children are horrific. I couldn't watch, and just knowing it was playing, made me want to scream in horror. I know it happens, but there is very little a person like me can do. At the most, instead of giving these children money, we give them food. Or in some cases, honest work. Perhaps if the charity stops, the proliferation will too.

This movie evoked a lot of feelings, not many of them were good. I don't know why Indians are behaving like it is a victory for them, considering only some of the actors were Indian.

Honestly, I am truly ashamed of my countrymen.

Brisingr

2009-01-28T20:24:00.003+05:30

I love all things mythical and magical, and I have a special corner for dragon stories. So when I saw a blue book with a picture of a dragon on the cover, I had to read it. I thought that 'Eragon' was a misprint, since I saw the book on the footpaths of Bombay.

I picked it up, and finished reading it incredibly fast. I also ended up buying Eldest at the same time, and by the time I finished reading that, I was desperate for the next instalment. Sadly Brisingr was a long time coming, so I had read the synopsis pretty closely to remember the nuances of the first two books.

I enjoyed Brisingr, because the storyline was gripping. As secret after secret unfolds, the characters become more vivid and colourful. The only problem I had was following all the names in the books. Keeping track of the humans, dwarves, elves and the villains was a little too much.

Other than that, the book was a very entertaining read, and I am really hoping the next one comes soon.

The Namesake

2009-01-28T20:16:00.004+05:30

I loved this movie. Period. I didn't care that it was understated and low-key, I loved it.

Firstly, the acting was magnificient: Tabu and Irrfan Khan really stole the entire show with their typical middle class Indian mentality acting. Truly terrific. Kal Penn was a stereotypical brat as well.

Perhaps the reason I liked this movie so much is that I too was born and brought up abroad. I also wanted to disassociate from my Indian roots and culture, although the festivals were always eagerly participated in (yeah I know, kids can be hypocrites). My nickname was Krish, shortened to sound more Western. Fortunately my epiphany didn't come with the death of my father, but I was thrust into an alien world altogether - India.

And I grew to understand and accept my beautiful culture and tradition as I have lived and grown in this country of polar opposites.

The Namesake was a quiet movie with a loud message. I think most second generation Indians (by birth, not nationality) would find it strangely easy to relate to, because it stirs a forgotten Indian chord buried deep within our psyches.

China Grill

2008-12-08T18:03:00.003+05:30

I can't believe I haven't reviewed this restaurant before, because it is really one of my total favourites.

The first thing I appreciated about this restaurant is the decor - not red and garish, but beautifully elegant without being overwhelming in any way.

The food is absolutely excellent. A few of my personal favourites are the Ocean's Delight soup which has fish, prawns and squid. For a main course we order anything really, because all the dishes are fairly good, and I don't have a particular favourite.

A dessert must-have is the sizzling brownie. Through personal experience, the smell of chocolate sauce on the hot platter never fails to generate more orders. Heads turn and waiters are beckoned to eagerly every single time a sizzling brownie walks past.

I think the owners of China Grill also own another place on East Street called Chinese Room. Pretty certain because the food and the ambience is extraordinarily similar. However, both are awesome - always recommended.

Ruby Tuesday

2008-12-07T11:30:00.001+05:30

We were roaming around aimlessly on Bangalore's M. G. Road, waiting for our third wheel to show up. Then of course, Ronita, Akshay and I were starving (as always) so we decided to walk down Church Street in the attempt to find a place to satiate our hunger.

I am a sucker for all kinds non-Indian (especially food), and not because I am not fond of India and its goods, but because quality always takes a hit in India.

Moving on (because ranting about India is what I do on my other blog), I espied Ruby Tuesday and it looked like a nice place. On entering, we weren't exactly cheered by the empty seats. But we stuck to our guns, and asked for a seat.

Of course, Akshay and Ronita will never order if I'm around, so they promptly sent back two of the menus and ceremoniously dumped the third in front of me. Glowering balefully at their amused faces, I scanned the items.

Ouch. The prices were really steep. Nevertheless, I thought since we are already here, let's eat something. After a quick consensus, I decided to order one salad, one starter and one entree between us. I ordered a chicken and walnut salad, and chicken nachos. The entree decision can wait, I thought.

They brought us our drinks first, two iced teas and one lemon soda. Only then did we start getting an inkling of what was in store for us. The glasses were colossal. Huge. At least three-fourths of a litre. We eyed our glasses dubiously, wondering whether we should've ordered one drink between the three of us as well.

Then the starter and salad came. Ronita was sitting opposite us, and she was entirely obscured by the salad. The nachos were thankfully less towering, but still on a plate the size of a Frisbee.

We dug in and after a while the tempo slowed. Half the food was still on the plates. There was a mountain of lettuce left, as my dear friends only ate the fried chicken and the walnuts, conveniently leaving the honey mustard dressing and the crisp lettuce leaves.

We couldn't eat another morsel; even though the food was delicious. The portion sizes were HUGE, and too big for average eaters like us. I thanked all my stars that we didn't order an entree.

The food was really excellent, although pricey. However, considering the quantity I suppose it was aptly priced. My suggestion would be to order in stages.

Definitely worth a visit.

Silk Route

2008-11-30T20:48:00.006+05:30

neMy experience at Silk Route will teach me to not to have high expectations of anything.

Let me explain.

I have been dying to try sushi, ever since I've heard about it. It just sounds so fascinating and exotic (I wonder whether other countries see Indian food as exotic). And delicate. I associate delicacy, grace and elegance with the Oriental people. Their culture is very fine and tradition-bound, without being lopsided in anothers favour. Indians share a lot of their customs, but somehow have managed to lose the innateness of it.

Getting back on track, Silk Route was a nice restaurant. The adjective is intentionally tepid, mirroring my response. The ambience is very ordinary, not very evocative of the culture, even thought they had orchids on every table and chopsticks (not a common sight in Chinese restaurants in India) too. The detailing could have been much better, though the colour scheme was thankfully not red.

The cuisines on offer where all Far Eastern: Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, etc. But I was there to try sushi, so I ordered that.

Salmon, tiger prawn and something else. Very disappointing. The small bowl in the top right was kimchi salad (which I hate), and the double dish held soya sauce and ginger sauce. On the whole, it tasted surprisingly bland. Even after I dipped the sushi in soya sauce.

The next thing I ordered was tempura:

Totally delicious. Batter-dipped, deep-fried tiger prawns. I'm not complaining!

In Dubai, the chopsticks used to come in paper packets, with instructions on how to use them correctly printed on the back. Here, we got them on our side plates. So I attempted to teach Akshay how to manoeuvre with them. I totally failed. That kimchi salad never got finished.

Twilight

2008-11-30T20:08:00.003+05:30

I had a few expectations from this book, because it's supposed to be quite a craze. I won't say I was disappointed, but it really wasn't the best.

The storyline wasn't a big surprise, so I pretty much anticipated what was happening round the corner (next page). Although, I do love vampire love stories and everything magical, so I finished the book in one sitting. What?!? There wasn't that much to read!

Anyway, I have started reading the sequel, and I can already tell what going to happen. I don't think the book is written to surprise the readers, but an element of surprise never hurts. That's maybe why I loved Harry Potter.

One thing I did like about the book is that the book is written powerfully enough to influence my subtle moods. I mean, the moroseness or the happiness, I don't mean that I'm scared to sleep at night. And another thing I like is that I identified with Bella, but only in the first book. She likes reading, is a complete klutz, etc, etc. But I can't identify with the Bella in the second book because she takes on this personality that is alien to my nature - I am an essentially happy critter. (Don't go by my blog - I have a tendency to over-dramatize my bouts of depression.)

Anyway, I wouldn't recommend the book to anyone, because when it came down to it, it wasn't that great. But I will read the rest of the books, merely because I am a little compulsive that way. Also because I love magical stories - I think I mentioned that already.

Partition

2008-11-29T10:03:00.004+05:30

As though there aren't enough movies about Punjab and its inhabitants, Partition is another one to join the club.

Apart from that however, the movie is brilliant. It is sensitive and touching, without the usual over-the-top drama that plagues Indian cinema. Of course there isn't, because although it is based in India with an Indian-born director, it's a Canadian film.

The story is beautiful, following the life of a Sikh soldier as he tries to rebuild his life after experiencing too much violence. As he tills his land, the partition rips the country apart, and thousands of refugees leave life as they know it behind to make weary trek across the border. As Hindus and Sikhs leave newly-created Pakistan, and Muslims leave India, they are slaughtered mercilessly by the countrymen they are leaving. Trainloads full of dead, rotting bodies arrive to stations full of eagerly waiting families. Provoked, the Sikhs retaliate, culling the innocent Muslim families walking toward their new nation. Unfortunately, all this is true.

Gyan Singh finds a young Muslim girl cowering in bushes, gasping in fright. She had bolted when the Sikhs set upon her and her family, and had managed to escape. He disguises her as a boy, and takes her home. His goal is to somehow reunite her with her family, and takes all possible steps toward that goal. Meanwhile the villagers find out and demand her execution, to pay for all the loved ones they have lost.

The story takes twists and turns as the two fall in love and start a family. Peace settles over the two nations, and she gets the opportunity to visit her family. The story has been very delicately handled, not accusing either religion of being solely responsible for the massacre.

There was an Indian movie made much earlier on, with the same storyline. Gadar - Ek Prem Katha was however very anti-Pakistani, pro-Sikh and highly exaggerated. This is a much better version, something soft and appealing, against a backdrop of hate and violence.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

2008-11-04T23:50:00.005+05:30

I picked up this book in Crossword, intrigued by the title. The summary on the rear leaf was also interesting, so I decided to kill some time by reading the first few chapters. That was about two years ago, and since I was a student I was too broke to buy the book. So I didn't; and pined.

The book is riveting. It isn't a happy book, far from it. It is perhaps the most depressing, most insightful glimpse into the live of an Afghani woman, and it makes me cringe. Although that didn't stop me from turning the page. The writing is simple and incisive, with Urdu (I think), maybe Farsi words liberally sprinkled in it. But since it shares some similarities with Hindi, I didn't find it hard to follow.

I really really liked the book, even though I haven't been able to rouse myself from the dumps since I finished reading it. Mariam is such a tragic character with nothing but grief in her life. Laila is beautiful and there is so much tragedy in her existence. The way they draw together is wonderful, but it still doesn't take away from the sadness of the movie.

One thing I learnt when reading this book: the topics I usually choose while writing fictional stories are very dark, and I should really choose happier subjects. Atleast I won't get so depressed.

The Break-Up

2008-11-04T23:21:00.005+05:30

Ooh, Jennifer Aniston. I really like her, so I jumped when I saw her on the credits for this movie. Plus Vince Vaughn is slick in a noisy sort of way, so quite entertaining.

Not exactly the most inspired of titles, the movie does revolve around one couple's break-up. The steady deterioration of a relationship, while the people are still in love with each other. The movie ends on an unexpected note, and just when you think something predictable is going to happen - it doesn't.

The movie was pathetically funny, in brave stand in the teeth of disaster sort of way. I am mortally afraid that this isn't my relationship, especially since most of the issues seem to be mine. Ok, I'm digressing a little.

The movie isn't the best, Jennifer Aniston rarely has great movies, and it is rather painful in parts (the dinner-singing scene). But it has a few redeeming qualities, and while this is rather disappointing, there is zero predictability in the movie.

But happy endings are always wanted.

Minority Report

2008-10-03T13:45:00.004+05:30

There was a time, where I missed a lot of great movies due to various circumstances. And it kind of irritates me when people react in that typical way: 'Oh my God! You haven't seen that?!?' or 'You don't know this?'. Does everyone know everything? No, I think not. And I suppose that the people who realise that are wiser than otherwise. Sorry, in a rather dark mood. Mental note: avoid blogging when in the dumps.

Back to Minority Report, I don't think anyone will disagree it is quite spectacular. Especially considering it was made a while ago. I only saw it yesterday, but that certainly didn't take away from the brilliance. Although, some of the technology they use is more than feasible today. Sad - reduces the sci-fi element a trifle. But that is all my fault.

Tom Cruise is really one of the most gorgeous blokes ever, even more good-looking than Brad Pitt, although not as cute as George Clooney. Hm. This has nothing to do with the movie!

I like the way it was done, with the dark storyline accenuated with the blues and blacks of the colour palette used. I am not particularly fond of movies shot in the dark and dinginess, since I find I miss on a lot of stuff.

The moral underlying all of this of course reiterates the eternal debate between predetermination and free will. Also those precogs were human, but they were treated like machines. It felt pretty awful.

Nothing but good things to say about this movie, in fact the best thing about it, was that it was not real. I like that part best of all. And Tom Cruise was brilliant.

The Bowl House

2008-10-02T20:17:00.007+05:30

I didn't know The Bowl House even existed, even though it was under my nose the whole time.

We went shopping in my neighbourhood mall, and on our receipt we espied, in tiny print, a coupon for 10% off on purchases made at The Bowl House. Never having heard of it, we actually thought it was a place that sold bowls.

We eventually threw away the coupon, because I happen to be like that, and never made any enquiries as such. So imagine our surprise when we came smack in the middle of The Bowl House after shopping for groceries one fine afternoon.

It's not the first time we've shopped at Food Bazaar, yet The Bowl House completely escaped our attention previously. Strange, considering we had to walk right through it to get to the elevator that was big enough for supermarket trolleys.

We stopped dead centre, and realised that we were very hungry. So we proceeded to order. The placemats had a definition of the word 'bowl', which had me in splits of laughter because it actually quoted Wikipaedia as a source. Great, I thought, I really needed desperately to know what a bowl was.

On the menu, there was the usual Chinese-in-India drivel, like manchurian and hakka noodles. So instead we ordered a meal. Also, because my mother and I were sharing this meal combo, we ordered soup, and an appetizer.

The soup literally made our eyes water, it was that strong. The chicken satay was orange in colour with the peanut sauce already smeared all over it. We actually watered down the soup, and added a pinch of salt so that it was edible.

By the time the meal combo arrived, we were full. Plus our mouths were steaming, thanks to the overly-spiced chicken satay. Which was a real pity because the chicken manchurian was really very nice and the hakka noodles good as well. Taught us a lesson!

What Happens in Vegas

2008-10-02T15:31:00.004+05:30

This is silly stupid romantic comedy of two highly incompatible people been thrust together, forced to live with other.

Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz meet in Vegas, get heavily drunk, get married, and win a jackpot. Thanks to their matrimonial status they have to split the bounty. But they don't love each other, and don't want to stay married to each other. So they file for divorce on returning home. And meet a cranky old judge who refuses to divorce them. But of course, too easy isn't it?

They are ordered to try and make their marriage work, under the guidance of a marriage counselor. And of course, they have their crazy ups-and-downs, the moments of undermining each other, the hilarious comedic moments, and also the requisite misunderstanding. Typical. Not to forget the oh-so-predictable ending of them realising they are meant for each other. Surprise, surprise.

I like both leads, they are fun, youthful actors with definite style and more importantly acting ability. They are totally wasted in this ridiculous caper of a movie, although it does have its funny (read: disgusting) moments of comedy.

Give a miss for the theatre, don't rent the DVD, watch on television when nothing else is on.

Hancock

2008-10-02T15:17:00.003+05:30

I watched this movie ages ago, and I liked it. I don't care what critics said, I liked it a lot. It was different, without the whole holier-than-thou images of superheroes. They are human too after all. Plus I looooooooove Will Smith. He personifies 'awesome'.

Hancock is a superhero no one wants. He is damaged, a drunk and foul-mouthed in the bargain. He gets brickbats for his attempts at saving the city, until a kindly, good-natured PR guy meets him. The PR guy advises him to revamp his image, go to jail, make the people miss him. And he does. Then he gets training in how to be nicer, not to break stuff when landing, and to minimize collateral damage. All good, but not the point of the movie. Which is what makes it different.

The rest of the movie is about why Hancock became a drunk in the first place, why he is anti-social and explains what makes him superhuman. And more importantly, what makes him human. I especially liked that part. I also liked the no-frills, no-fuss ending, where he makes his peace with being who he is.

Will Smith of course is stellar, totally eclipsing everyone else. The others were of course excellent in their respective roles, providing a great foil and backdrop for his character.

It's like the human story of a superhuman guy.

1920

2008-10-02T13:31:00.004+05:30

I love horror movies - good ones, of course, not the ones where you yawn or laugh during the 'horror' sequences. Plus Indian horror movies are rubbish to say the very least, with the odd exception (read: Ram Gopal Verma attempts).

But 1920 had gotten some decent reviews and so I thought it would be worth a watch.

The story is about a palatial mansion that the new owner decides to have pulled down to build a hotel instead. The house is quite beautiful, so I don't understand that bit. Possibly never heard of renovation and conversion. Anyway, The house kills whatever architects dare venture within its walls. Cut to a scene on the banks of a river, where a young man is praying to Lord Hanuman.

This young man is an architect (surpirse, surprise), and is in love with an illegitimate child of an Indian mother and British father. He decides to run away with this Christian girl, as he is aware that his orthodox Hindu family will never accept their marriage. (Sad, but very common.) The male members of the family catch them sneaking away in the dead of night, and proceed to waylay them, and attempt to kill the girl (again, very plausible). He saves her somehow, and when his father taunts him with religion, he renounc

es it there and then, since it opposes his love (unnecessarily dramatic).

The couple then moves to Bombay, where they live happily together, and he joins a big firm. He is then assigned the haunted house renovation project (of course! were you surprised?). The husband and wife then proceed to the house, and start work. The lady is uneasy, and later mishaps and unfortunate events start to unfold.

The premise of the movie is reincarnation, spirits, ghosts, revenge and many more. However, there is an underlying message that belief in God does conquer the most evil of evil forces. A rather important message. Akshay scoffed at the idea, but thanks to an incident in my family, I know that faith in Lord Hanuman can keep the most evil of spirits at bay. But that is another story altogether.

The movie was well-planned, with a very together storyline. The music was awful, with ghazal-type waffle playing constantly. The hero was abysmal, and ruined the entire movie. The girl was alright, and she did well in trying to shuttle between the two characters she played. The actress playing Gayathri was superb, not only was she stunningly beautiful, she played her part well and without over-acting.

However, special effects left much to be desired, with obvious animation completely visible. I understand that Hindi movies don't have budgets like Hollywood ones, but why settle for poor quality? And plus Indian movie makers are anxious to churn out movies without spending enough time refining them. The adherence to the time period was well done, with the costumes assumedly fitting in perfectly.

I think it was a fairly alright movie, although not one I would recommend highly. It perhaps struck a chord because of events in my life, but that was about it.

27 Dresses

2008-09-24T22:32:00.005+05:30

I like Katherine Heigl, even when she was the ice-maiden-y role she was playing in Roswell. She is statuesque and blonde, and I can totally imagine her to be a some kind of viking warrior woman. Ok, that might sound a bit gay, but I love stories and I tend to cast people in my imagination.

I saw the poster for 27 Dresses pasted up on the cinema for absolutely ages as the 'coming attraction'. It was an intriguing poster, and I was a little taken up with the title too. Plus I like Katherine Heigl, oh wait I already mentioned that.

It seemed to be a comedy of some sort, and she was pretty awesome in Knocked Up (this was pre-reviewing days for me, so there is no link to a post). I decided I wanted to watch this movie, an obvious chick-flick (which loosely translates to counting Akshay out altogether). I don't usually enjoy chick-flicks as a rule, but the occasional one doesn't hurt. Plus I really think Katherine Heigl is fabulous.

So I proceeded to watch it, and get thoroughly bored. She is of course unbelievably good - true acting talent this girl has. But the movie is predictable and boring. It's the same old formula, slightly modified, and re-packaged to seem new. I like the concept of 'always a bridesmaid, never a bride', but hello!! would a guy be oblivious to the fact that he has a stunning blonde as his assistant? And who is so obviously infatuated with him? I think not. Although I can believe the fact that she is overshadowed by her sibling. Quite feasible.

I don't think this movie is one for the books; definitely not worth a second watch. Pity, I like Katherine Heigl.

PS: I was a bit disappointed with sari bridemaid's outfit, but that's because I'm an Indian.. I found an outraged post about it. True, although, I suppose we shouldn't take goof-ups like this seriously.

Wall-E

2008-09-24T18:13:00.006+05:30

I finally got to watch this movie, after reading rave reviews on all review sites for ages. Thanks to the delayed release of the movie in India. But why the heck am I complaining? I got to watch it eventually.

I loved Wall-E, the robot and the movie. It was fabulous: touchingly sweet, without being sugary, and also with a rather potent ecological message. Frankly the thought of Earth becoming the great big mass of garbage that was depicted in the movie was terrifying - and make no mistake about it, we are fast approaching that stage.

I love the quaint, quirky and humorous Wall-E, with his human emotions. His pet cockraoch, while a digusting creature in real life, was quite a nice touch here. Just goes to show, in the event of complete world annihilation, cockroaches will still survive. The squirrel-like habits of collecting things, and his absolute fascination with Eve.

Wall-E is a trash compacting robot meant to rid Earth of its colossal amounts of garbarge. He is the last surviving one, with others having given up their ghosts long ago. Eve is a sleek, powerful robot that is put on the surface to hunt for signs of plant life. And Wall-E is totally star-struck. He had previously found a young sapling in a refridgerator and kept it. He then shows it to Eve is a child-like gesture of trying to impress her.

She freezes into immobility after storing the sapling carefully inside her. And then their adventures begin.

There is nothing spectacularly original about this movie, but it is quaint and heart-warming. Never forgetting that robots are in the end machines, they still have endearing human qualities, like anger or attraction.

Wall-E is undoubtedly a star, although he isn't as shiny and new as Eve. It's a lovely movie that makes me smile even now, after having watched it a while ago. Definitely one for my collection.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

2008-09-23T15:24:00.004+05:30

This movie was a laugh riot from start to finish.

There's Peter, a moderately successful composer, sloppy and evidently an under-achiever, whose primary achievement seems to have been to get a gorgeous actress, Sarah Marshall, as a girlfriend. And then the worst happens, she dumps him. For someone else. Ouch.

So Peter sets out to mend his broken heart. He sleeps with lots of women, he gets blind drunk, he basically falls apart. Nothing works, so his weird step-brother suggests a vacation. And Peter decides to go to Hawaii. And runs smack into Sarah Marshall.

The whole movie is a ridiculous caper that makes you split your sides laughing. Add a generous sprinkling of nuts in Hawaii, a pretty girl, a wacky British popstar (Sarah's boyfriend) and Sarah herself.

All the scenes with Aldous Snow, Sarah's latest, are hilarious. The slipper scene, where he's lost one. The scene where he is coaching a serious rather sexually-challenged newly-wed how to wow his new wife, and also the scene where he tells Peter that he should get a 'Nobel prize, or a trophy, or at least, a cuddle'.

Do not miss the song 'Inside of You' - what a silly, silly song. It had me in splits.

A Wednesday!

2008-09-23T14:44:00.003+05:30

I had heard vaguely that this movie was about the train blasts in Mumbai. Not one to follow the audience approval (they liked Race.. enough said), I wanted to watch this movie. Plus the lead actors were Naseeruddin Shah and Anupam Kher, two veterans with prodigious talent. Not ones to go dancing around trees thankfully.

A Wednesday is a nice movie. It is only 'nice' because the plot could have been developed more, perhaps given a greater sense of urgency. Additionally, there was one major goof with the pictures of who they think the caller may be. If I give more away, the punchy ending will lose its impact. Although, again, the impact could've been a little more forceful, and tended to be slightly anticlimactic.

The characters weren't developed to their full potential, and only a few facets of their individual personalities were shown. The movie did get a little slow in the middle, but then again, it wasn't racing along in the first place.

Reading the above over, I realise I've only focused on the negative. But there are definite plusses also. First of course the performances by Naseeruddin Shah, as usual 100% authentic and believable. Anupam Kher is good value too, although he is rather overshadowed here.

Jimmy Shergill really cannot pull off a tough-cop image; I reckon he should stick to chocolatey romances where he gets to play a star-crossed lover - melancholy suits him.

I loved the storyline, and I guess all those who have seen the wave of senseless terrorism engulf our nation, will feel the same. The sheer raging helpnessness is somewhat alleviated. Go watch it, it's good.

Van Helsing

2008-09-17T13:08:00.007+05:30

I have always been fascinated by Dracula - he is suave, tall, dark, handsome and dangerous. Sounds like a hero out of the covers of a romance novel. Except, he is dead, or undead, whatever. And he is pure evil.

So I wanted to watch Van Helsing almost from the day I heard about it. However, it somehow never happened till last night. Even then, I had the movie a good two weeks before I managed to watch it. Notwithstanding average reviews, and scathing opinions of film critics, I insisted on watching it. After all, it's a matter of opinion.

The very first thing that struck me about the movie was the terrible, oh-so-terrible, accents. They kill the dialogues, which aren't the best to begin with, and make the entire movie rather comical. Additionally, the bloke playing Dracula was absymal.

Moving on, this movie borrows from so many popular horror stories, right from werewolves to Jekyll-and-Hyde, and many more besides. I like Dracula's brides; they were gruesome and yet strangely beautiful.

Kate Beckinsale and Hugh Jackman were utterly wasted, and Beckinsale had one of those abominable accents. The friar sidekick was a little amusing, although irritating at times. The plot was alright, although rather involved, and too many threads that feather away, before being woven together again. I like the human side to Frankenstein's monster; a nice touch.

There was a lot of usless stuff as well, like the creepy undertaker, or Beckinsale's brother. Just a complicated mess of things where simplicity would have made the movie eminently watchable. The special effects were fun, not used for fear inducement though.

The film was definitely average, and not remotely scary in any way.

Singh is Kinng

2008-09-13T22:42:00.002+05:30

What an ode to Punjabis. I remember reading an interview of Sonu Sood, where he says that the movie has been handled delicately, so as not to offend the sensibilities of Punjabis. Apparently since he is a Punjabi himself, he cares more, and therefore this factor was very important to him. Oh for crying out loud! The movie portrayed Sardars and Punjabis, and everything in between exceedingly well! The rest of the country considers that particular state sadly deficient in grey matter, but those people are so wrapped up in their fog of self-satisfaction, this fact doesn't even pierce it.

In any case, this was perhaps the silliest, yet funniest Hindi movie I have seen in a long while. And that is perhaps because it was meant like that. There is absolutely no attempt made for credibility, nor realistic situations. THe entire movie is all about tongue-in-cheek humour, and the characters have no intention of making the viewer laugh - they're very serious. And therein lies the comic genius of this movie.

Akshay Kumar is as usual magnificent in a role perhaps only he could have pulled off. Om Puri was hilarious as the long-suffering friend and Javed Jaffery was terrific as the afflicted wannabe don. These three actors kept the audience in splits, making the entire burst into chuckles when least expected.

Everything of course has a happy ending, no one gets punished, no one goes to jail and no one is punished for anything. Ridiculous, but a perfectly silly ending, for a perfectly silly movie.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

2008-09-12T13:01:00.005+05:30

I know this is quite an old movie, but I had watched it in bits and pieces until a few days ago.

I suppose what attracted me to this movie is the different powers that these characters have. Even more than that, I loved the fact that they were drawn in from popular fiction culture. With Mina Murray and Dorian Gray (although I have to admit I had no idea about this particular one till I read Wikipedia). And of course, Captain Nemo.

The story is slightly hard to follow because of the confusing succession of simulatenous events, but everything quickly falls into place. Then it becomes quite a common place line of thought, with the only thrills lying in the way the characters handle situations that arise. I feel decidedly sad about Dorian Gray, because he has such a jaded, lack-lustre outlook, cynicism lying heavily across his brow. And he is definitely a total dish.

Sean Connery is as always terrific, plays the ageing 'tiger' to the hilt. I was a bit startled by the vampire, but soon got over it.

As mentioned before, the story line of save-the-world-in-fraction-of-time is sadly done to death. Additionally, the betrayal factor is also ridiculous because when no new characters are introduced, it is easy to fathom who the Fantom really is.

What I really like about this movie, apart from the magic tricks and the grey art direction throughout, is the constant references to other characters from well known books. Also, while other people may find puns groan-worthy, I quite like them. And this movie is chock-ful of puns.

An eminently watchable movie; great for a rainy day indoors with lots of popcorn and chocolate milk.

A Secret Diary of a Call Girl

2008-09-12T12:50:00.004+05:30

It may seem a little odd that I'm reviewing a series here, considering they usually consist of multitudes of episodes - not this one. A Secret Diary of a Call Girl has 8 episodes; all about 22 minutes each.

The title was highly fascinating, and I saw the show advertised at the tail end of a Weeds episode. Since I quite love that series (and I thought it was by the same people), I thought this one would be along similar lines. Punchy, peppy, humourous, with ridiculous situations, and ingenious solutions. But I was wrong; oh so wrong.

A Secret Diary of a Call Girl is about a high-class escort in London. She likes money and sex, so the combination seems perfect. The series focus on her escapades, and are almost a tutorial for the business of being an escort.

Thrown in haphazardly is her rather goofy best friend, who she finally confides in.

The storylines are not remotely original, and don't really hold one interest. At least not mine.

Bachna Ae Haseeno

2008-09-12T12:32:00.005+05:30

After watching Christopher Nolan movies, I seem to have developed a mental block towards mindless movies. Or perhaps I have just been able to define the reason why I disliked it before.

Before I get into that however, I did like some parts of the movie. Superficial parts of course, but I still liked them. I think Ranbir Kapoor has got a fabulous profile (the front of his face isn't that great) and a magnificent physique. Not too many rippling muscles, but its the firm, toned body that appeals to my female psyche.

Then Bipasha Basu is stunning. That girl is a total scorcher. Deepika Padukone is wooden, but pretty in places, with lovely long legs. Minissha Lamba is annoyingly, cloyingly cute. Ew, gagfest. I also liked the misogynistic, not marriage material, not boyfriend material, not human being material best friend - whose name I forget. He is a typical bloke, and well he carried the part well. So I liked it. Kunal Kapoor was a scene stealer; Ranbir Kapoor faded into the scenery. Not that he is particularly handsome, but Kunal Kapoor has a flavourful tang.

What I don't like about this movie could possibly take up pages. Firstly, I hate the absolute necessity of adding some part of Punjabi culture into every single Yash Raj movie. Ok, you're from Punjab, but there are other equally interesting states, so could you please stop brandishing it in our faces?

The main problem I see (which I was referring to earlier) is the requirement that everyone either be absolutely saccharine sweet good, or what they want, they don't get. Say what? Who is THAT good? No one! Ranbir Kapoor consistently apologises for being a playboy of sorts - why? Guys do that remorselessly; but they grow out of it. They DO NOT go back righting their wrongs, however laudable a course of action that is.

[SPOILER ALERT]: Another thing, Deepika Padukone agrees to marry in the end, but why? She had pretty strong ideas about being single. The story should've ended with him languishing alone, not kissing his reunited lady love, with planes taking off in the background.

All in all, the movie was too sweet for my taste. The characters were not real enough.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan

2008-09-11T23:45:00.005+05:30

Having lived in the Middle East for most of my life, I have been well aware of the Israel-Palestine conflict. The local news has a distinct pro-Palestinian bent to it, but CNN and BBC used to save us from sheer partisanship. In any case, this movie lampoons this very serious crisis, in a very strange way.

The Zohan, played by Adam Sandler, is some sort of super being with incredible powers: military and otherwise. He is indestructible almost ('I feel no pain'), and pulls of the craziest stunts. But he is weary of the war, and longs to be a hair dresser. SO he fakes his death, and flies to America, sharing a kennel with two sheepdogs.

The movie is utterly ridiculous, and stops a harisbreadth short of being a slapstick spoof. The jokes are quite funny at times, but can be rather offensive at others. Sensitive Israelies, Palestinians, Arabs, and women should really avoid this movie.

I am quite ashamed to say I quite liked the movie, but that is because I like being entertained. The movie is light and frothy.

Miss Conception

2008-09-11T00:28:00.005+05:30

I really have no idea what I was expecting from this movie, but I must say it was one of the silliest movies I have ever seen.

A woman who desperately wants children is told that she has only one shot at it. As she is in a relationship, that shouldn't be too great a task. But a series of misadventures and miscommunications lead this happy couple into a problematic ditch. Added to which, her partner does not want kids. Oh dear; how very surprising.

After a whole lot of faffing about, and general audience misery, the movie comes to a predictable happy ending. Heather Graham looks like a feathery flower, with big blue orbs. And that's all that is nice about the movie.

Memento

2008-09-11T00:04:00.007+05:30

I watched this movie today, as I waited for the rain outside to stop. Akshay had really built up my expectations of this movie, and it was one of the most mesmerising movies I have ever watched.

He did tell me the movie progressed backwards, and so I wasn't surprised with the entire proceeding. Otherwise I may or may not have cottoned on fast enough to pick up the other bits of the movie.

As usual Christopher Nolan has delivered a movie which surpasses all bounds of normal story-telling. I love the non-linear tack taken, and also the duality that each character portrays, emphasizing over and over again, that no one is all good or all bad.

I am not the biggest fan of movies that relate to the mind, perhaps because I feel uncomfortable with the thought of what the character is going through. The mind is such a vital part of one's framework, imagining life without full faculties is nerve-racking. The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Vanilla Sky and Butterfly Effect were three movies like that as well. The first two I didn't like at all, although the third was fabulous. However, there was a little comfort in knowing that those scenarios were imaginary and couldn't actually take place.

The lead of the movie, Leonard, is a frighteningly detached man. There is something cold in his nature, which isn't because of his condition, as he likes to call it. I most certainly didn't warm to his character.

The twist at the end is well worth the movie, and leaves one gasping with a million questions. This movie should be studied with a microscope for pure directorial genius.

Batman Begins

2008-09-10T03:01:00.004+05:30

I watched this movie after I watched The Dark Knight, its sequel. Pretty strange, but I didn't even know this movie existed. However, after watching the second half mesmerized by the movie, I absolutely had to watch the first one. And I wasn't disappointed.

The movie tells the tale of how Batman comes into existence. As a little boy, Bruce Wayne only fears bats. Then his parents are tragically killed right in front of him, and he sets out to find justice. His quest takes him to various parts of the globe, fighting for what he believes is right.

He is brought back out of a prison cell that he is languishing in, by Liam Neeson and is trained to fight for justice at any and every cost. In the final moment, he is unable to take a life that has committed a petty crime, and thus breaks with the sect.

As his adventures follow from then on, Bruce Wayne slowly builds up an alter ego. He is bolstered by his butler Alfred, played to perfection by Michael Caine. The desire for justice fuels his vigilante tendencies.

The movie is to showcase the personal transition into Batman, and it does just that without losing focus. It is an excellent precursor to The Dark Knight, as the audience has understood fully the psyche of Batman, and what drives him. This leaves the moviegoer the opportunity to watch his reactions, without questioning 'why'.

An excellent movie; maybe one day I will be able to watch both one after the other.

The Dark Knight

2008-09-10T02:45:00.009+05:30

Christopher Nolan is going to go down in the annals of the film industry as a director who made some of the most riveting movies ever seen.

The Dark Knight is the sequel to Batman Begins, and follows the progress of Batman/Bruce Wayne as he proceeds to rid Gotham city of its evil. As the story picks up from the end of the previous movie, the entry of the main villian is a trifle delayed (even though the director scripted in this gambit into the previous movie).

When the Joker makes his entry, his very presence is bone-chilling. Heath Ledger has done a magnificent job, making the character as sinister and wildly unpredictable as possible. The mad clown with hideous scars next to his mouth, is strong and likes killing. Plus he is a complete psychopath, thereby he manages to hold sway over the audience. People gasp when he kills with a pencil, or shudder when he cracks a joke.

The movie is scripted beautifully, with twists and turns never leaving the viewer with a single dull second. The movie is dark, as in its very soul is dark. One doesn't leave the movie theatre without feeling slightly subdued, although thrilled to the very toes with the brilliance of the movie.

Apart from the showstealer - Heath Ledger - the legendary Michael Caine, the inimitable Morgan Freeman, and the gorgeous Christian Bale deserve mention. I am glad Maggie Gyllenhaal replaced Katie Holmes (I don't know why I don't like her). Gary Oldman of course was a class act, as a harried police officer.

There is very little happiness is the movie, and that is slightly overwhelming. Also, according to some sites, Dark Knight has the maximum number of goofs. But that is immaterial, as moviegoers like me don't go to nitpick.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and I would give it my full marks. But, I am sad when I watch this movie - there a certain heaviness of heart which I don't particularly like - so I doubt as to whether I will watch the movie again - unless of course to study Christopher Nolan's work more carefully.

Rock On

2008-09-10T00:34:00.005+05:30

Hm. It would be hard to say what I didn't like about this movie.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting much. Although, in general I like Farhan Akhtar, and his work, I had heard a lot of negative comments about the making of this film from a friend. And plus, the reviews were excellent. The last time I fell for Indian public opinion, I watched the absolute unmitigated disaster that was Race.

So I went with the minimum of expectations, but I was more than pleasantly surprised - I was hooked.

First of all, the storyline was great; it had all the elements of a great drama: humour, sadness, estrangements, misunderstanding, and love. The art direction was lovely, the colours, backdrops, costumes, among other things. The actors were perfect for their roles, and the musicians were very realistic (in my non-musical opinion), with Arjun Rampal and his jumping about. Farhan Akhtar was amazing as a lead singer, but Purab Kohli stole my heart with the way he played the irritating drummer.

The music seeps into the consciousness, with foot-tapping melodies and unforgettable lyrics. But more than anything else, it was 100% realistic, without being morbid. There was no candy floss, nor was there undue tragedy - the characters were well-scripted and the actors neither over- nor under-acted. I love heavy metal music, with the occasional hard rock thrown in. Perhaps rock purists will cringe at the music, but it caters to wider audience than just them.

The movie works on all levels, providing an enjoyable experience.

Young People Fucking

2008-09-10T00:18:00.004+05:30

This was one weird movie. Perhaps not all bad, but definitely weird.

It's an amalgamation of 5 stories, lumped together in one movie. The common link between them is sex. The various stages of sex, and also the complications that always, always arise with having it.

There is the Couple, who are having a dry spell, and are experimenting with ways to spice up their sex life. A lot of revelations, and some rather kinky stuff takes place. The insecurities of a less attractive partner come to light, and are settled rather sensitively.

The Exes are trying to prove to themselves and each other that they are really over each other. And can have a 'civilized' date and perhaps a one-night stand without involving feelings. Which of course just doesn't happen, as these intrusive little parts of life rear their heads when least expected.

The Roomates is just bizarre, when a boyfriend asks his roommate to sleep with his girlfriend. And he wants to watch. This story reaches full ripeness in the end, when the couple actually talks. Until then, it is kinky and slightly difficult to imagine.

The First Date is about a playboy, who says all the right things to get his gorgeous date into the bedroom. There is however a slight undertone of seriousness in his mouthing-offs, although he is rather deprecating about it himself. There is a little vapidness about the girl in general, which is understood at the very end.

The Friends are two best mates who need to get laid. One is a sensitive soul, fresh out of a relationship (well not quite fresh), and the other his best friend, a spunky gal with a weakness for bad guys. They plan to sleep together, and this plan decidedly tanks, with quite a few expected and unexpected twists and turns.

Surprisingly, the stories do not intersect in any way, and I think that is what put me off the movie, because I was trying to find the connection the whole time.

The Onion Movie

2008-09-10T00:05:00.005+05:30

I have always enjoyed the articles on The Onion, although I don't follow them regularly. It makes for an interesting break at times, and lightens the most serious of issues, lampooning them.

So when my dearly beloved Akshay told me about this movie, I was quite eager to watch it. First impression was one of surprised laughter. And then on, as first impressions are last impressions, the laughter continued.

I loved the sketches, and the ridiculous importance given to the most trivial stuff. For example, the man who lost his socks. I loved the stupid gags, and risque humour.

But perhaps that part I liked the most was the critical appraisal of the movie, during the actual movie. That was a rather inspired addition. And the black rights group had me in splits. The Armed Gunman was no doubt the star of the show.

I think I would recommend this movie to someone who wishes to spend some time with mindless, yet somehow sharply intelligent humour. There is not a grain of truth in the movie, and it should be taken in that particular sense.

Leatherheads

2008-09-06T01:56:00.005+05:30

I watched this one absolutely ages ago, but never got down to actually reviewing it.

I think I watched this movie solely because it had George Clooney in it, since I am not really a big fan of sports movies. Not that they are bad in any way, but merely because the storyline seems to be fairly standard.

I liked the ruggedness of the movie quite a bit, and enjoyed Renee Zellweger's performance. I think I like that girl just because of that playboy bunny fiasco scene in Bridget Jones' Diary. Plus there she was overweight, something I totally identify with. I digress.

The movie tends to be a little slow, although the repartee is amazing. The movie is not earth-shattering by any stretch of imagination. Just a simple tale, a little confused, and some good actors. And it is funny in places, although it seems to go absolutely no where.

There is very little chemistry between the leading pair; their romance leaving the viewer quite unmoved. Carter, the war hero, is sadly

The Prestige

2008-09-02T00:05:00.006+05:30

Akshay pestered me to watch this movie, till he finally got fed up, and made me watch with him. He had told me the entire storyline, except the final secret, revealed in the last scene. I was altogether blown away by this movie, so I suppose I need to thank him!

I usually don't like dark movies, though of late a lot of them are having a profound impact on my mind. The Prestige isn't a new movie, but I was mesmerised from the word go.

The dialogues are terrifically important to the script, so I was straining to catch every word. There are hints in the whole movie, which makes for amazement at the end. Although I don't want to gloat, I did guess the secret to the Transported Man. It was so simple, and plus I had an added advantage. But to say more would kill the best scene of the movie.

The story revolves around two magicians, whose rivalry starts off nicely enough, spiralling into a deep, dark enmity that consumes their lives and the lives of those around them. Angier (Hugh Jackman) starts his maniacal obsession with Borden (Christian Bale) because of the death of his wife. But that soon get swallowed in the feverish madness that follows. Borden is marginally better, although he does sabotage a lot of Angier tricks. In the end, neither is above reproach.

Perhaps that is the key point to the movie - there is no good or bad; just shades of human nature. It makes the movie eminently believable, especially with the period costumes and the archaic methods employed. However, the movie is about magic, and it would be a shame not to include some fantastical element in the storyline. Which the director did magnificently.

Michael Caine was superlative as usual, a benevolent, dedicated engineer, with the desire to do what is right as far as is in his power.

Some parts of the movie are grotesque and quite horrifying, but they fit well within the fabric of the story.

This is an unmissable movie, but there is a gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach once you watch it. The feeling that says, "I wish it things had happened differently".

Made of Honour

2008-09-01T12:15:00.006+05:30

This movie reminds me strongly of My Best Friend's Wedding, except it doesn't have Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulrooney (Yum), and it's the other way around. This was a definite chick flick, but surprisingly it left me pretty stone cold. It was entertaining in spots, but the storyline was barely original.

I found the sheer male smugness of Tom Bailey, played by Patrick Dempsey, so irritating. And I found the leading lady, Hannah, infuriatingly good! Oh well, bad girls resent the good ones. So there you go.

The male maid of honour thing was really ridiculous; maybe a guy just can't pull off a woman's role. On the other hand, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid if a girl became a best man. Perhaps girls just are that much cooler. :-)

On the up side (yes, I did like some parts), the entire cast was well suited to their roles. They acted pretty well, and the chemistry between them was captivating. Some of the jokes were rib-ticklers, and the thing with the dogs was terrific. Probably because I adore dogs too. And I like the movie name, because I think puns are funny (please don't leave a comment with 'geek' in it).

Good for a one time watch maybe, but if you miss it, you aren't missing much.

Phoonk

2008-08-29T10:48:00.005+05:30

Another Ram Gopal Verma horror movie. I watched Bhoot much after its initial release. It was really alright, although the tight storyline did leave me wondering which English movie 'inspired' it.

I wasn't very keen on watching Phoonk, as I do believe in black magic, and not because I'm a superstitous old bat, but because it has happened in my home. Not with me, with my great grandmother, and I remember my grandmother telling me about it. All true, every last word.

That, however, is another story for another time, getting back to all-consuming movie mania.

Phoonk starts off being very promising, and the videography is par excellence. However, there is a strange fascination with figurines and dolls in general. The characters are well-scripted with consistent behaviour, based on their persoanlities. The actors were also good, not over-acting, but not wooden by any means.

However, the movie takes forever to reach the 'exciting moments', and by this I mean the parts where somethings actually happen. The lead up takes more than half the movie, although the interval point is magnificent in its sheer anticipated malevolence.

I liked the movie, perhaps because I believe in black magic. Although the depiction was too theatrical for my taste, it was apt. Plus there was a certain dry humour infused in some of the dialogues, leavening the disturbing parts of the movie nicely.

In the end, good triumphs evil, and that's what makes an average movie-goer a.k.a me happy.

Lady Audleys Secret

2008-08-29T02:03:00.004+05:30

One of my favourite haunts are those dimly-lit bookshops that have stacks and stacks of second-hand books. Sometimes they aren't in any particular order, but arranged according to size, shape and, more often than not, state of dilapidation. And here is where I most love to spend my free time, looking for discarded treasures, and smelling that peculiar smell of old books. This is where I found Mary Elizabeth Braddon's book, Lady Audley's Secret.

Since Georgette Heyer and Jane Austen figure among my favourite writers, I pounced on the Victorian novel with unholy glee, buying it on the spot. (Another reason I love second-hand bookstores - I can indulge my passion for books without breaking my bank.)

The book looked quite promising, but I wasn't destined to read a single page until almost a year later. The book lay forgotten under a pile of other books, papers, and more books. Till about a week ago.

When I unearthed the paperback, I decided to read it, as I was recovering after a nasty illness, and all I was permitted to do was lie around in bed. And I delved into the pages, expectantly.

I first encountered an introduction, which I wasn't too thrilled about, but I felt obliged to peruse it first. It was a lyrical panegyric on the book - and well, it did raise my hopes up a bit.

So I attacked the book with a vengeance. I finished it in a day or two, and found myself quite frantic to find out how the book progresses, and what is the dreadful 'secret'. I enjoyed reading it immensely, to the extent of having a huge crush on Robert Audley. Hm. Seems my friends know me quite well (see superlatives on my facebook profile).

Anyway, the 'secret' was a colossal disappointment, and although I imagine in the time and age it was written, it was a big deal, it just didn't seem to very awful. I'm not hard to please - really.

Stardust

2008-08-08T17:58:00.006+05:30

I LOVE this movie! I have already watched it 3 times, and I wouldn't mind watching it once more. And then again, and again. Why? Because I'm a total sucker for magical tales. And Stardust all about magic.

I loved the opening scenes, with Tristan's father meeting the princess. It didn't hurt that Ben Barnes was that boy - he is really gorgeous. I loved the way the plot progressed with the narrator telling us the story of Tristan and his crush, the dying king of Stormhold and the fallen star.

The story follows Tristan on a quest to bring a fallen star to prove his love for Victoria. He crosses over into the magical land of Stormhold using a candle his mother left him. He runs smack into the star (who is a slender girl in a silver satin gown), and there their story begins. She is being chased by witches who want her heart, and the necklace that knocked her out of the heavens is being hunted by the princes of the land.

The whole story is woven very well, with all the bits and pieces clicking into place properly. It isn't just a children's movie; adults will enjoy it too - after all everyone needs a respite from reality.

I also love the magic with the witches, the hilarious comedy with the princes, and the way good triumphs over evil. The goats were hilarious, and Captain Shakespeare was incredibly funny.

The art direction was simply magnificent, with the colours ideally setting off the story and its colourful characters. A good dose of special effects wasn't a bit overdone, and supplemented the scenes beautifully.

Claire Danes is not remotely pretty, but she has such a bubbly, vivacious personality in this movie that she comes off looking very attractive. Her irritation with Tristan is very funny, and so real. Charlie Cox is brilliant - so natural and lovable, and slightly annoying with his consistent chanting about Victoria. Michelle Pfeiffer was a powerful character, alternately someone you love and hate. Robert De Niro does a departure from his usual roles, and proves what a fabulous actor he is.

... After reading what I've written, I realized I have gushed uncontrollably. But I can't seem to find words (and I'm a writer!) to express how much I liked this movie.

The Witch of Portobello

2008-08-08T17:40:00.003+05:30

Calling myself a fan of Paulo Coelho would be overstating the case a little; I like his books, but they don't feature on my favourites list. I like Alchemist, Veronika Decides to Die, and Eleven Minutes. The others are really so-so. However, I really loved The Witch of Portobello.

The book consists of a series of interviews, arranged chronologically. That in itself makes an interesting feature, and had me riveted from the beginning. I would have, if time permitted, finished the book all in one go, but life tends to get in the way of resolutions like that.

The book is about this woman, who from childhood, to adolescence to adulthood, follows her heart and instinct. She is looking for deeper meaning in her existence and it details her journey finding it. There are some pretty profound philosophical connotations that are visible in its pages, and the book has a tendency to creep into one's thoughts well after it has been read.

The main protagonist, Athena, was name Shirin by her parents. Strangely enough, this lady in the pages of a book shares her name with two other Shirin/Shireens in my life, both rather important. I don't know whether that signifies anything, but it is rather coincidental.

The Spiderwick Chronicles

2008-08-07T11:44:00.005+05:30

As a Harry Potter reader(fine, fine I'll admit it, I'm a fan), I was not really expecting much from the Spiderwick Chronicles. But I was wrong. Oh so wrong.

The movie is set in a ghostly mansion with goblins and faeries lurking close by. The opening scene with the insect collector was a little frightening, building up the anticipation quite a bit. But then it became fairly so-so when you see the brownie (? - not sure). Then it turns into a lovable childlike fairytale.

Apparently this movie was made off the first 5 books of the series, excluding the 4th. Not having read any, I wasn't disappointed, as is usually the case with these kind of movies. I liked the storyline; it was fast-paced and interesting. The children were fun in the movie, and even Mulgarath was not very intimidating at all.

Perhaps the best part was the brownie, Thimbletack, and the hobgoblin, Hogsqueal. Pretty good fun those two were, especially with Hogsqueal's taste for birds above all else. Funny.

I think the only detractor of this movie was the main actor, the one who plays the twins. Very wooden (yes, I realize he is just a kid) and superficial. I didn't like his performance at all.

Overall, a nice movie, with fabulous art direction. The fantastic faerie worlds come alive.

Ugly Aur Pagli

2008-08-07T11:02:00.005+05:30

I didn't really have many expectations when I went for this movie. At the risk of sounding highly unpatriotic, Hindi movies are, let's be honest, very silly most of the time. And Ugly aur Pagli was no different.
Don't get me wrong, I quite liked the movie. It was a young flick, with a strong female character. However, although most Indians would find Ranvir Shorey's character Kabir, effeminate, I just thought he was a normal guy. He was strong too, but he never displayed his strength. He was gentle, kind, but also had the normal urges of a young male. He did what almost any guy would do to get a girl.

That being said, the movie is still a little on the weird side. The laughs are good, but some of the antics that the characters play out are very silly. But they are very young, so that is alright I suppose.

Mallika Sherawat was total eye candy of course; that song depicting his imagination (he was having sexual fantasies; they made them seem like a theatrical show) was a total drool fest. And I'm a girl. She looks gorgeous.

I think the movie was good for a laugh, although it get a bit mushy and Hindi-filmy at the end. But then the masala has to be there for it to appeal to a wider audience.

PS: Was that kissing scene necessary? They looked like they were gobbling each other's faces, and it seemed like such an afterthought. Kisses in Hindi movies are so emphasized, that they are almost embarrassing.

Marrakesh Restaurant

2008-08-07T04:04:00.005+05:30

When I first clapped eyes on Marrakesh, I jumped in gleeful excitement. Then I proceeded to drag my unwilling boyfriend to the restaurant to have shawarmas. Now for those of you not bred in the Middle East, shawarmas are wonderful meat rolls. These delicious snacks are made with a choice of meat, tahina (sesame seed paste), and vegetables, rolled into a pitta bread (kuboos), and served with pickled carrots, beets, radishes and chillies. They are to die for.

I seem to have veered slightly from the point - I was reviewing Marrakesh, the restaurant. Situated in Kalyani Nagar, it is a stone's throw away from Gold Adlabs. The restaurant is pretty in a rustic sort of way, with the tandoors juxtaposed next to the seating area. We didn't venture inward as the interior looked dingy, and the weather was beautiful.

So I proceeded to plonk myself on one of the hard benches, rubbing my hands together in anticipation of my favourite snack ever. Only to be shocked at the prices. And the menu (which consisted of a whole load of Punjabi dishes). Never mind, I gulped. The shawarma will make it all worthwhile. But it didn't. It was awful. I won't say any more, because it is too painful.

Akshay ordered some egg affair. It turned out to be this.

Anda bhurji.

SOB!!!

Prisoner of Birth

2008-08-07T03:39:00.006+05:30

When Jeffrey Archer recently came to India, I wasn't one of those people that stood in long queues waiting to reverently shake the hand that holds his pen. Uh-uh. And that wasn't because I was in another similarly-destined queue for John Grisham. Nope. I was at home, curled up with Prisoner of Birth, absolutely riveted to its pages.

I love Jeffrey Archer's books. They are so incisive and witty, and incorporate the kind of humour that appeals greatly to me.

Prisoner of Birth was not a remotely amusing book. The tragedy in that book is palpable, but the story is still wonderful. There are good people who die, and bad people who live on, and the reader is dragged into the whirlpool of emotion that the book creates.

There is Danny Cartwright and his beautiful pregnant fiance, her brother, and Danny's two cellmates. Two out of these five (not counting the unborn child) die because of murder. I hated the book because of that, but I also loved the way that the remaining characters come out on top.

I both love and hate this book - although truth and justice win out in the end, the tale is still one of loss and vengeance. And I'm a happy person, so this doesn't appeal to me.

Pride and Prejudice

2008-08-07T03:17:00.007+05:30

Not the book - the movie. The Keira Knightley movie.

The book is possibly one of my all-time favourites; Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer have inimitable style with their pens. The stories that they weave are witty, funny, satirical, romantic, mysterious all in one go.

Wait, not the book. The movie.

I have watched almost all possible versions of Pride and Prejudice, right from the television miniseries, to the Indian adaption (Bride and Prejudice) to this one. And by far, this was the worst.

The plot of course remained the same, although there were glaring deviations from the book. While I understand that it is quite impossible to reproduce the book entirely on the screen (why? it has been accomplished earlier), these were unnecessary deviations altogether.

The stick playing Darcy was highly unconvincing as a proud man; he merely came off looking like there was a dirty sock taped to his upper lip. Keira Knightely is serious eye candy, even for a girl. But she doesn't embody the spirit of Elizabeth at all. The girl playing Jane was plain - wasn't she supposed to be the pretty one?

The joy in this movie was Donald Sutherland, playing the father. Although why must he be always seen holding a potted plant of some kind is something beyond my comprehension altogether. And of course Dame Judi Dench as Lady Catherine. The scenery was stunning, and the costumes very excellently fitted to the period.

The ending seemed half-hearted in the extreme, as though the director decided 'enough is enough'.

Frankly, I couldn't agree more.

Sex and the City

2008-07-31T00:05:00.004+05:30

I didn't like this movie - it was like an episode that had been stretched to fit the time span of a movie. It was boring. And it some places, quite cringe-inducing.

Where - the 'national forest' scene (shudder), Charlotte's 'accident' (shudder more)...

Pros? Possibly, I didn't notice as I was trying hard not to fall asleep. My mind definitely wandered quite a bit during this movie.. Ooh wait, that sushi scene was hilarious. And I loved Carrie almost-wedding, with the three others in different coloured gowns. Lovely touch, that.

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na

2008-07-30T23:35:00.005+05:30

Ok, this isn't exactly a groundbreaking movie, plot-wise. So what made this movie one of the more enjoyable Hindi movies I have seen in over 5 years? Lots of small little things that add up to one big whole.

Firstly - let me get this out of the way - Imran Khan is so adorable, so cute and so yummy that you feel like eating him up like a popsicle. I hope he isn't younger than me - which is quite possible - because that would make the above sentiment so yucky!

Moving on, this a lover story, surprise surprise, and the plot isn't new either - I already said that once.. :-/

What makes this movie nice is the way the plot has been handled; it's fresh and funky, the characters act their age, there is a true element of mischief. And it's absolutely plausible in every way. Another thing I like is the fact that the two protagonists go about with other people before realizing the obvious. Not just the guy, but the girl too. Unusual for an Indian movie, where a girl usually realizes immediately who she wants and then pines away in silence, Sati-Savitri fashion till the revelation dawns on Monsieur.

But the cream of the movie was Imran's parents, Ratna Pathak Shah and Nasseruddin Shah - those two were terrific, in a league all their own. I love the scenes between them; they induced uproarious laughter. The chemistry between the real-life husband and wife is evident in the movie. Very charming.

That said the two idiots that are Sohail and Arbaaz Khan are unbelievable jack-asses. I will admit their presence was necessary, but for heaven's sake, did they have to wear those outlandish cowboy outfits?

PS: The Pappu song was hilarious. Good fun all round. Also Prateik Babbar was a nice addition as the younger brother.

Be Kind Rewind

2008-07-30T23:03:00.004+05:30

I don't remember what made me insist on watching this movie - was it the critics' ratings on Rotten Tomatoes, or was it the upbeat review on IMDB? Whatever it was (as I can't be bothered to check), I don't know how I feel about it. This is possibly the easiest way to vocalise my feelings for the movie, as it left me slightly saddened. And since it is a crazy comedy most of the time, this reaction has me puzzled.

The movie centres around this ageing man with a video rental store, and the simpleton who works for him. This particular simpleton has another as his best friend. And together they come up with the most ludicrous pranks, albeit their intentions are highly noble.

The friend, Jack Black, is a nut who lives in a caravan and has issues with some power plant. He tries breaking it enlisting the aid of the video store clerk, Mos Def. Their camoflauge suits are stupendous. Just totally unbelievable fabulous. They made me howl with laughter. Anyway, to continue, Black manages to cross over into the compound and gets electrocuted. This event, instead of killing or injuring him, manages to make him a magnet. Hm.

Then he erases all the tapes in the rental store because of his magnetic properties. All this takes place when the shop owner leaves Def in charge of the store, of course. Till here the movie was ok, predictable and nothing out of the ordinary.

What happens as a result is totally outstanding in its sheer originality - they 'remake' the movies. Or in the parlance of the movie, they 'swede' them. And these 'sweded' movies are a super success. Unprecedented success.

Yet the movie ends on a sad note, with the shop be repossessed by a construction company. While there was outright, boisterous laughter throughout the movie, the ending induced a sigh and a grave smile..

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

2008-07-13T23:29:00.005+05:30

I could call myself an avid fan of Harrison Ford, although the current definition of the word 'fan' is something pretty scary and very over-the-top. But there is no doubt that I love Indy - yes, I am aware that he is fictional character. He is the prefect guy - intelligent, handsome, rugged, smart, charming, and a great sense of humour. The complete package, so what's not to like?

So when Crystal Skull released, I was the first in queue (tele-booking), getting the best seats possible. After all it was an Indiana Jones movie.

On the whole, Harrison is really getting too old for Indiana Jones, and that bit was underlined very well in the movie. One can't forbear to compare this aspect to Bollywood movies, where the hero is evergreen and his heroine gets younger and younger. Gross. In fact, I get the feeling perhaps Shia LaBeouf's character was introduced in this movie as a way to take the series forward.

Harrison Ford is at his inimitable best as the aged racehorse. The story is thrilling, as are all the movies, with just that hint of fantasy that is always a part of this series. Cate Blanchett is paralysingly white in colour (hopefully that is due to makeup), and very effective as a villian. Although, there was one strange element; she was initially portrayed as a mind reader. Surprisingly she never tried this 'gift' on anyone except Indy. However, her motive was established as a quest for psychological phenomena, so this was perhaps a tiny oversight.

I love Shia LaBeouf. I don't know why - perhaps he has that weird mannerism of combing his hair, or interrupting the amorous episodes of his mother. It's so cute, and so like a typical teenager. [Aside: what problems do guys have with older peoples' sexuality? They behave like it's offensive.]

On the whole, the movie was great fun, with the wisecracks and the fantasy. But most of all, it was wonderful because of Indiana Jones. Definitely worth a watch. Maybe two.

Disclaimer: All that being said, there is a certain suspension of belief that is required while watching this movie, as some of the scenes are truly impossible - the waterfall one being the first placeholder.

Sarkar Raj

2008-07-12T00:22:00.004+05:30

Wow.

This movie elicited just the above response. Nothing more, nothing less. Sarkar Raj is a study in understated power. The movie is so subtle, so silent - it mesmerizes. The entire movie is well-knit and together, without any stupid dancing around trees. The suspense is palpable, and the tension can be cut with a knife.

The story is simple - a multi-national company, led by Anita, wants to set up a plant in rural Maharashtra. Sarkar initially opposes the idea, but is brought around by his son, Shankar. And the plans proceed accordingly. There are loads of unforeseen obstacles, and greedy men pawing hungrily for multi-million kick-backs. Fledging romance, nipped severely in the bud. Don't forget Shankar didn't love his wife.

The best part about the movie, if there could be just one, is Amitabh Bachchan. He morphs from a slightly cranky old grandfather, back into the Sarkar with frightening intensity. The impression is of an ageing lion that lurks sleepily underneath the surface, happy to let his cub take over. But when that comes to an abrupt halt, it is still the king of the jungle.

Speed Racer

2008-07-12T00:04:00.004+05:30

What an awful movie.

Lest you should think I am being too judgmental (yes I know the right spelling - I made a typo when choosing the URL; hoping to change it), this movie is an over-the-top riot of colour and sound. The whizzing and spinning objects hurt the eyes, making them water. And that's the part I actually liked.

The story was very sketchy, and very story bookish. Oh wait.. I forgot, it was originally a comic. Ahem. I just think it was too goody-goody and preachy. And what is the deal with the Racer X rubbish. EVERYONE knows he is the brother, even when he denies it. And then when he denies it again. And then he admits it. And not to be welcomed into the bosom of his family, oh no, to live separate and alone, till the end of his days. Huh?! Dude, get over yourself.

Speed is nice and boyish, but my favourite character has to be his younger brother, whose name I have forgotten. He and that chimp are hilarious.

The race tracks were convoluted beyond belief, but then again, I don't think Nascar is very interesting, so that was a plus rather than a minus.

The movie was a waste of time. I don't like cliches, nor do I like predictability - and this movie is chockful of both.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

2008-07-11T23:25:00.004+05:30

I watched this one quite a while ago, and just before then I had decided to review just about everything. Why? Beats me. Perhaps I just like seeing my opinion on the web, in print. Naah. That doesn't mesh with the number of posts I delete on a sadly regular basis.

Anyway, getting back to the point, Prince Caspian was filled with beauteous (that was really the first word that popped into my head) locales and rich characters. The storyline was solid, of course that being more a feather in C. S. Lewis' cap than anyone else's. That aside, the execution was lovely. The story, like all of Narnia stories, requires a child-like belief in magic and happily ever after. However there is always that tiny hint of wistfulness that I really wish wasn't there. In this case, I wish that the elder two could return to Narnia after they left. Finality is such a terrible thing.

On the upside, Ben Barnes is so cute. (My, I sounded like a teeny-bopper there.) I think a guy in armour, and on horseback, appeals to the feminine side of any girl, regardless of age. And add to that, the shadow of a cleft in the chin, and voila! women much more hardened than I, will gush.

There was humour thanks to the dwarves, and evil thanks to the villainous uncle. Plus Peter managed to add a very modern day male ego trip into the formula, and I suppose it struck chords with youths. I, like any female, thought he was being unnecessarily pig-headed.

All in all, the movie was an experience. I think it set out to capture imaginations and transport viewers into a fantasy world for the space of 1 and a half hours, and it achieved exactly that. A definite success.

Kung Fu Panda

2008-06-27T21:22:00.008+05:30

A classic tale of an aspiring misfit who eventually manages to become what he always wanted to be, amidst trials and tribulations and against all odds. So what is great about this movie?

The misfit is a big cuddly (read overweight) panda. Oh my God! How cute is that?! The best scene was the opening sequence; had me in splits of laughter. "They were no match for his sheer awesomenes"; "let's hang out" (ok, you need to actually watch the movie to get this one)

The visuals are very appealing, and the comedy is quite hilarious. The characters are gorgeous, and even that rather scary snow leopard is awesome.

This movie won't figure on my all-time favourite animations - the Ice Age movies, Madagascar and the Shrek movies definitely take precedence; although I did find the Shrek movies slightly down-in-the-mouth.

The Forbidden Kingdom

2008-06-25T14:04:00.005+05:30

Jet Li and Jackie Chan in one movie - definite attraction there. The Forbidden Kingdom had all the external appearances of a mythical, fantastic adventure tale. And it was just that.

Beautiful locales, a touch of mystery, and generous dollops of humour is what makes this movie rather enjoyable. It wasn't great, perhaps the humour didn't allow the story to grip the audience adequately. But then, Jet Li is cute, and Jackie Chan is hilarious - and boy, can they both fight!!

I watched this one quite a while ago, but haven't gotten down to typing up my thoughts. What has remained in my memory, so many days and movies later, is the Monkey King. Golden, giggly, and god-awful annoying.

I love this poster - I am such a sucker for mysticism.

Iron Man

2008-05-12T23:15:00.007+05:30

I would like to state for the record that I am receiving no payment for this review. I actually do feel so strongly about this movie. It was in a word 'super'. Ok, that was very corny.

It's a comic hero story, but once where the hero is a wise-cracking genius, with a taste for leggy women. Not your average school/college kid with geek issues and girl trouble. It leaves an altogether different flavour in the mouth.

The only predictable part of this movie was the the baldie (partner) was the bad guy. Surprise, surprise. Not.

Ok, now the goooooooood parts...

Robert Downing Jr. makes a very unlikely superhero. He suits the protagonist's character perfectly because he has a slightly swashbuckling, devil-may-care hint of wildness beneath a smooth exterior air to him. Delectable really. No wonder there are leggy babes falling all over themselves at his feet.

There is no romance angle, although there is a possibility of an attraction kindling between him and his proper secretary. But essentially this isn't actually a part of the movie. So no romance. Whew, thank heavens!

Terrence Howard. I don't know why but I have a real thing for this guy. :-)

He isn't on a crusade to save the world, just right his personal wrongs. That I feel is symbolic - everyone is doing just that. Trying to right their personal wrongs - Karma.

Pepper Potts is a sexy, smart, non-conformist secretary. Not voluptuous and over-the-top and neither a lady that hides her light under a bushel. She just is a smart lady who happens to be very beautiful, and dresses to flatter herself. What a refreshing change.

Robert Downing Jr. and his wise-acre remarks. Priceless.

Watch the movie. It's totally worth it.

Tashan

2008-04-27T13:49:00.006+05:30

Funny. That is the first word that pops into my mind when I think of this movie.

The hype that this movie created was palpable; the first time I saw the trailer (if you could call it that) was at the screening of Aaja Nachle. A movie I really liked by the way, but that aside, Tashan had an instant appeal. The four main characters, shown one at a time, strutting across a dusty road, ruins in the background, and with guns in hand. Ah! So cooooooool! Well not really but still quite fascinating.

So we managed to get tickets for the first date of release, and we also managed to get late for the show.

Tashan is a spoof of all the yesteryear action flicks, with the unbelievable stunts and impossible gravity-defying monkey leaps. There were these scenes where Akshay Kumar (I cannot bring myself to type his screen name without laughing my guts out) hops primate-like from one place to the other; one where Saif Ali Khan shows up in a jet-ski; and lots more besides. But what struck me about this entire experience was that all this buffoonery was totally deliberate. There were of course the bits that were meant to look slick but the rest was supposed to be an insulting ode to the Amitabh action flicks. And I really enjoyed that.

Some of the comedic one-liners were fabulous, especially the ghastly English (shudder!) that Anil Kapoor speaks in the movie. Oh lord! They make you double up, in laughter or agony, depending on your particular take.

The cream of course was the song "Dil Dance Mare". Blimey. When I heard that song after the press release, I lost all sense of time and space. I went stock-still, slack-jawed and was stunned into a stupor. And I was dreading the song showing up on screen, but it did and surprisingly, it was appropriate.

Anyway, the movie is good for a laugh; leave your brains behind if you go. The locations that have been used are gorgeous, and Kareena is a treat for the eyes. Thank goodness, because Anil Kapoor is a complete eyesore. The characters stay within their set boundaries, and I think, although many people may not appreciate this, it is one of the highlights.

Horton Hears A Who

2008-04-27T13:13:00.007+05:30

After Madagascar, I thought I would never like another jungle animated feature quite as much. Because I did not The Wild so much, in fact I can't remember it very much at all.

But I went anyway for Horton Hears a Who. Firstly, because I grew up on Dr. Seuss cartoons - not the written variety, but the animated ones then. And I used to love them. So I went, dragging in tow a very reluctant boyfriend.

We watched, we liked, we liked a lot. Lovely movie. I confess I liked it more than Madagascar. Oops. I think I've just set myself up as a target for assassination by my friends.

But all (kid)ding aside, the movie packed a punch. The animation was superb, the characters were well fleshed out and of course there was comic genius Jim Carrey. The story line reflected the importance of life, and perhaps was a valuable lesson that people need to realise, considering the state the world happens to be in at the moment. There isn't much I can say about this movie that won't make it sound like a sponsored post. I liked it all, right down from the story, to the characters, the comedic one-liners, everything.

Especially, Vlad, the bunny with the chocolate chip cookies.

U, Me Aur Hum

2008-04-14T23:53:00.003+05:30

I saw this one quite a while ago, just haven't gotten down to reviewing it.

Quite a simple story really; perhaps one that ought to be told. Simple, and touching.

A major portion of the movie is set on a cruise liner. This is where Ajay and Piya (Kajol) meet, fall in love, and well, break up as well. Only to get married later on land. The machinations that Ajay uses to win the heart of the pretty lady he loves are depicted here. And there isn't any particularly spectacular about those, so I won't elaborate further. The beauty of this movie lies in its second half: Piya's battle with Alzheimer's disease, and the way it affects the people in her existence.

The plot is handled delicately and of course the chemistry between the real-life husband and wife is evident on the screen. But having stated all that is positive about the movie, there are the drawbacks that I must touch upon.

Firstly, the camera angles used are horrific. So many close-ups, and you can see every pore on their faces on a theatre screen. The animation was terrible, since it was so bleeding obvious - couldn't they find real gulls? or real waves? Additionally, some of the scenes were hilarious without intending to be. The fights between the married couple of the group were ridiculous and incredible to say the least. And it wasn't restricted to that either. Just a question of getting a few facts straight, and executing them without a lot of over-acting. Simple.

Sad fact: Ajay Devgan and Kajol are excellent actors, but they were really not good in this movie. What with the poorly researched plot lines that came across.

And that lizard was a definite negative! Well this one is personal, I have a weird phobia of them.

All in all, the movie came together for me in the last 5 minutes. Certainly before then, the negative far outweighed the positive. But I loved the ending. It pulled a heartstring.

Meet the Spartans

2008-04-04T11:50:00.005+05:30

I went for this movie thinking it would be as good as Scary Movie, or Epic Movie. (Yes I liked Epic Movie) And came away disappointed.

It really wasn't the best spoof. Watching the other spoof movies, each movie that they parodied had a substantial part in the whole screenplay. In 'Meet the Spartans', each of the spoofed movies, barring of course 300, had one segment or scene, and then was later totally forgotten. So at the end of the movie, whilst trying to recall the various spoofs, I couldn't remember any of them really clearly.

Parts of the movie were funny, since they were unexpected. But overall the movie was actually quite gross. And very crude. Lewd. A little risque humour is not a bad thing, but when it goes over the top, it becomes quite distasteful.

The movies that were parodied mercilessly were 300 (but of course), Shrek, Happy Feet (I think!), Transformers and Spiderman 3.

The TV shows spoofed were American Idol, Deal Or No Deal, Ugly Betty, and America's Next Top Model.

And the famous personalities that should NOT watch this movie for the fear of insult are Ryan Seacrest, Britney Spears, Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie "Brangelina", Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.

All in all, the movie was not very good at all, although it did elicit a few chuckles.

Race

2008-04-03T15:46:00.006+05:30

WARNING: I am going to include the plot details and so-called spoilers. So if you don't want to know what happens, I suggest you don't read this blog post.
This is one crazy movie - and not in a good way.

My boyfriend and I read the Times review of the movie, which said (I am paraphrasing) the movie was good, and slickly made. Extremely untrue. The movie was a joke.

It starts off with the traditional Hindi movie kick-off to a movie - drum-roll = entry of the hero. The car grates to a halt on a gravelly parking lot and the hero emerges from the car. We see him starting from his shoes, upwards. But since it is Saif Ali Khan, it really is alright; he is quite yummy.

The movie is set in Durban, with horse racing providing a canvas to the story that is to unfold. Only there's the catch: the story is like a tangled bit of wire. It isn't that we didn't understand it, it was just that it was crass.

Saif is a horse racing magnate, who owns land in South Africa, including a stud farm. He is shown to be filthy rich, albeit with mortgaged property. Fine. He has an alcoholic younger brother, enter Akshaye Khanne, who shows no interest in the family business. In fact, Akshaye seems to show little inclination for anything that doesn't involve a drink.

Katrina Kaif is Saif Ali Khan's personal assistant. That girl is gorgeous, with never-ending legs and a mane of lustrous hair. But such a vapid creature. Or maybe that was just her role. Bipasha Basu plays an 'up-coming' model, very luscious. All batting eyelashes and sultry, sun burned skin. Not bad. The rest of the characters come later, so I won't critique them quite so soon.

The movie starts off with a highly implausible road accident. Out of which the driver comes out with a slightly hurt neck and I think what is a grazed palm. Of course, our Hindi movie heroes are literally unbreakable unless there is a girl in whose arms he can faint with appropriate machismo through a significant loss of blood.

To save a lot of time (and agony), the essence of the plot is that these two loving siblings are in fact step-brothers. The younger develops, at a tender young age, a hatred for his more accomplished elder brother. Sibling rivalry at its evident worst. On his deathbed, their father insures them both for a sum of $50 million each. Wow, lot of moolah.

So the young 'un hatched a diabolical scheme to bump off his benevolent older brother, and receive somehow $100 million. Since I don't understand life insurance, I didn't get this bit. And he ropes in his brother's girlfriend, Bipasha. Who, by the way, has an extremely unpleasant, although obscure, track record. Hmm.

The crazy twists start now. Bipasha is Saif's 'friend'. So Akshaye hits on her and declares that if he manages to marry her, he will give up alcohol altogether. Ok... So his brother gallantly sacrifices his love on the altar of brotherly love. Ugh.

We then progress (can I call it that in all honesty?) to the next twist. Akshaye throws Bipasha's dodgy past in her face, and tells her the deal. He wants the money, she can help for a fee. Is she in or out? IN, oh-so-in!

So as part of the plan, she proceeds to seduce her ex after marrying his brother. And succeeds - they sleep together, with Akshaye watching in disgustingly voyeur-style from his bedroom. Cheap thrills.

And then Saif is shown going through the trauma post this incident. Katrina tries to seduce him on a business trip, although we aren't shown the end of that. Meanwhile, evil younger brother is shown plotting with his wife. And they concoct a plan: which in the next cutscene Bipasha reveals all to Saif. Okkkkaaaayyyyy...

And the plan proceeds as planned. Although she does push Saif of the terrace as she planned with Akshaye - HUH?

And enter the police - Indian, in South Africa - Anil Kapoor and his brain-dead assistant Sameera Reddy. Chomping his way through fruit, Anil is the sleuth on the case. He does some heavy interrogation.

Meanwhile Katrina Kaif is heard screaming in the outer office: apparently she and Saif got married clandestinely on the business trip. I see, another twist.

So now apparently, Akshaye doesn't get his grubby mitts on the moolah. So he and Bipasha decide to bump of the dame. Oh dear. The camera then follows a distraught Katrina as she changes into gorgeous lingerie in her evident distress for the loss of her husband. And she is grabbed by an intruder, who she recognises and hugs lovingly. Saif, back from the grave? NO, it's Akshaye! Good grief.. Apparently, Bipasha when she handed over the envelope to the assassin, it contained her photo as the next hit. Poor thing.

Anil Kapoor deduces all this and decides to let the culprits off scot-free with a bribe in exchange.

And then as the girl is about to be bumped off, Saif really does return from the grave. And apparently unsurprised to see him, she was evidently aware that he was still alive.

Right. By this time, I was in a stupor, holding my head in both hands and bewailing my 300 rupees. And the movie was still running.

Saif rescues his lady love and then confronts his little brother. Oh SHOWDOWN! Nope. They have one final race (in cars), where Katrina and Akshaye end up in a fiery grave and Saif walks off with a cool $200 million and his girlfriend.

Anil Kapoor shows up at the end to collect his due, as apparently he is part of the deal.

The movie was awful. All the characters had a penchant for murder (covered in various sub-plots), and were in general unlikeable characters. So who do you hope wins? No one. Although you do wish the makers would refrain from making movies ever again.

10,000 B. C.

2008-03-22T10:47:00.007+05:30

10,000 B. C.: For a person quite curious about the ancient human civilizations, and also the history of the world, this movie was an instant attraction. I wanted to watch it, the minute I saw the preview, whilst watching some other movie. It looked big, bold and beautiful. As an aside, I would not say I am an avid reader of all things ancient, I am not. But it is one of my favourite topics, and within my limited exposure, I do read a lot about it. So, I went for the movie.

What did I expect? I suppose, a little bit of insight, perhaps the odd myth or legend, I didn't really have any preconceived expectations.

The movie had a beautiful backdrop. Not spectacular, but beautiful. The storyline was simple and straightforward. Serious. A little alleviation of the intensity was available in the form of Baku, the stripling, who follows D'Leh everywhere. But all in all, the movie was average. It wasn't gripping; the characters didn't reach out of the screen and envelop one into their lives.

On the other hand, it wasn't the worst: the art direction was nice, with the beauty of a primeval Earth landscape present. The true highlight for me was the saber-toothed tiger. What a gorgeous animal - and superb animation. The mammoths came a close second, though. They were majestic.

One thing didn't make any sense though: I presume the villains of the piece, the 'four-legged monsters', were supposed to be Egyptians. It ties in with the Nile-like river, the slaves, what seems to be the Pyramids and the 'God-King'. If the slaves destroyed the Pharaoh, assuming it is Ancient Egypt that was portrayed, how did the Pyramids get built?

The Celestine Prophecy

2008-03-22T09:41:00.004+05:30

I was reading this book throughout my final project trimester; that's why it took me a few months to complete a book I ordinarily would've never put down once I started.

The Celestine Prophecy is a truly revolutionary book. I read each chapter with the awakening sense of wonderment that, I think, is exactly what the author intended.

The book races through the spiritual awakening of the author, in Peru. Here he encounters people who help raise his awareness through to another level. What is humanity's eventual goal? What is the greater picture? Who are we?

I read this book very recently, although I have been trying to get hold of it for a long time. It was a beautiful story that touched my very soul. I rushed out and bought the rest of the series (except the Experiential Guides) and am currently devouring the next one, The Tenth Insight.

Beautiful book. One needs an open mind to assimilate its message.